Why is this Memorial Day Weekend Ten? Because ten years ago on this weekend in 2014 Kali joined started our pack.
Long time followers of The Golden Kali Blog know the story and history of how this special dog changed my life. How she flew from Taiwan with 23 other Golden Retrievers arriving at SFO via China Airlines flight 004 on Saturday evening, May 24th 2014. Those who don’t can read how it started here.
Kali crossed the Bridge on January 1, 2022. But this weekend will always be our special weekend. The weekend when both of our lives changed for the better and forever. For seven and half years Kali was never far from my side physically. Although gone physically Kali remains omnipresent in my life.
The tag lines over the years tell a lot. Initially it was “Kali’s New Life In America”. Then when we moved to the Sierra Nevada Foothills it became “Kali’s New Life In The Mountains“. When she crossed the bridge the tag line became, “Life Without Kali”. And more recently, “Life With The Red Girls“. But don’t let the last tag line fool you. This blog is and will always be about Kali. The influences she had not just on me but on the Red Girls – Kloe and Koda – to whom she was be best “sissy-mama” a puppy could have.
So after ten years – ten Memorial Days – what more can be said? Well, just that it will always be our day – Kali’s and mine. The day the rest of our lives together began.
Kali and I about a week after she arrived from Taiwan, stole my heart, and changed my life.
I didn’t have to look it up. It’s true. My puppy, my baby, my sweet sweet Kloe who I now sometimes refer to as Queenie Kweenie, turned eight today.
Left side of my brain: “How the heck did that happen?”
Right side of my brain: “She was born and then the earth circled the sun eight times”.
Left side of my brain: “Shut up Mr. Logical!”
In my heart Kloe is still the nine week old puppy we brought home all those years ago and introduced to Golden Kali who quickly became her “Sissy-Mama”, mentor, and best friend! Kloe helped shape our pack and continues to bring us great joy and happiness. She is our guardian, our protector, and the heart and soul of The Golden K.
Right side of my brain: “But you do know it’s been eight years, right?
Left side of my brain: “Yep! Eight years of love, devotion, and joy!”
Right side of my brain: “I agree. Happy Birthday Kloe!”
Kloe Through The Years
Kloe and Kali in the early daysMMA take downKloe’s signature tackle, ear chew, and roll move. Impressive take down move for a pup of only 4 months!Stare down over the lodged appleKloe at 10 weeksWater makes mudPlay date in LodiKloe at one yearAirborne“Uncle” Smokey letting Kloe know who’s bossKloe: #2 The reason for the rulesSweet Gentle Kloe
At night Kloe and Koda sleep on their mats next to our bed. Kloe usually on Holly’s side and Koda on mine. In the middle of the night, if I’m awake, I listen to their breathing. It’s peaceful and calming to me to hear my girls breathing in cadence as they lay sleeping peacefully and oblivious to any worries or stress.
Even better is “The Sigh”.
Often times, in the dark of night, I will hear Koda stand up and conduct a routine that her species has done for thousands of years: nesting!
From Google in reference to a dogs behavior as they prepare to nest: Dogs in the wild slept on grass, leaves, and various other natural substrates. In order to create a comfortable bed, dogs would scratch and trample down the area with their feet and paws, flattening spiky vegetation and removing rocks and sticks, to create a comfortable bed. This is called nesting, and it likely wasn’t only about comfort.
And that describes Koda: scratching her mat with her paws, sometimes for as long as 15 or 20 seconds. She then circles a few times, and lies down. As she lies down, there is a long and audible sigh. She is quickly fast asleep and her world, and mine in that moment, are peaceful and calm.
It’s a good thing we live in the forest! Because Kloe loves chewing on sticks. With pines, oaks, and cedars all dropping their deadwood around the Golden K Kloe always has a wide variety of sticks to choose from.
When Kloe was a puppy I worried that she might swallow a big piece and choke. Or that the accumulation of stick particles would cause harm to her mouth or stomach. But she doesn’t really eat any of the stick. She gnaws on the larger sticks and shreds the smaller sticks. Kloe can take a moderate size stick – say a half inch to an inch round – and make toothpicks. With larger sizes she is like a wood carver. She’ll create various shapes – sometimes over a period of days with the same large stick – until the stick is small enough to then shred into toothpicks.
A variation of the stick chewing is when Kloe methodically dismantles a pine cone -scale by scale- placing the scales in a pile until the pine cone is reduced to what looks like a corn cob with all the corn off of it. If I try to pick up a pine cone with my bare hands I get stuck if not careful. So it always amazes me that Kloe can pick pine cones up with her mouth with no regard for the sharp needle-like ends of the scale.
Kloe takes her stick chewing pretty seriously. Her focus and intensity is a lot like the aforementioned wood carver carefully planning and then executing each stroke of the knife. Or in Kloe’s case, each chomp of her jaw. She demonstrates quite a bit of artistry with her sticks!
About a year ago I came upon Kloe in one of her favorite chewing spots and captured the photo below. Taken with my iPhone in portrait mode this shot highlights my sweet girl at work in her “studio” carving away with a large inventory of sticks nearby for future Stick Art projects.
Memorial Day Weekend has always been a favorite weekend of mine for many reasons. The northern California weather is finally warm on a daily basis, baseball is in full stride with teams beginning to emerge as either contenders or losers, and it’s the unofficial beginning of Summer. But for the past nine years what has made it very special is it’s the weekend that Kali flew into my heart from Taiwan. Nine years ago.
Long time followers of The Golden Kali Blog know the story and history of how this special dog changed my life. How she flew from Taiwan with 23 other Golden Retrievers arriving at SFO via China Airlines flight 004 on Saturday evening, May 24th 2014. Those who don’t can read how it started here.
I still recall I can still feel the excitement I had leading up this day when Kali would join our family. After five years without a dog in our family I knew we prepared to welcome Kali into our lives and devote the time, energy, and love to make sure she was happy. What I was not prepared for was the almost immediate and powerful bond that developed between Kali and I.
With any rescue, families should be prepared for an adjustment period of weeks or even months. Given Kali was coming from half way around the world we expected it would take her some time to acclimate to her new environment. It didn’t. It’s funny to think back on it now but at the time I wasn’t sure if Kali would respect the house and our belongings. Would she chew on the furniture? Would she try to steal our food? Was she really house broken? Not knowing any of this before she arrived I had decided that over the long weekend I would spend the first few days mostly outside with Kali as she adjusted. So Sunday morning, her first in America, we headed outside. Kali explored and I began this blog.
That was Sunday of Memorial Day weekend nine years ago. Today, on this Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, I am doing the same thing as I was doing nine years ago. Sitting outside with my laptop writing a post about Kali. So in some ways things are much the same and in other ways they are so much different.
For one Kali is not longer with me at my feet as I write. Kali crossed over the bridge January 1, 2022. This is the second Memorial Day weekend without her. But this remains our special holiday. Time and space will never take that away from us.
If not for Kali I may never have experienced first hand the bond that is possible between man and a dog. My friend Dee tells me that Kali was my Heart Dog. That special dog that no matter who follows him or her, and no matter how much you may love those that follow, they will never replace one’s Heart Dog. Dee is right! Kali is forever my Heart Dog.
If not for Kali there would not have been a Kloe and not a Koda. Kali was Sissie Mama to our two younger girls. An unassuming and subtle alpha, Kali was a gentle and benevolent leader to whom Kloe -especially Kloe- looked up to. Kali gave my wife Holly the courage and motivation to take on a pup (Kloe) as were preparing a move to the mountains (yep on Memorial Day weekend) in 2016. Holly did the heavy lifting with Kloe’s development and training and they have a special bond. Kloe is “Holly’s dog”. As Kali aged I could not bear the thought of her passing and leaving Kloe without a sibling. Enter Koda in 2018. There’s always room for one more dog!
And without Kali there probably not have been a move to the mountains. Kali changed our lives, our thinking, and our priorities. Our life in Suburbia had been great. We raised our family in the East Bay of San Francisco and had a great life. Now, as empty nesters, our vision for our home had changed. Kali was at the center of that vision and gave us the inspiration to make a move. Heck, if she could travel from Taiwan to America and thrive we could certainly do the same in the mountains. It had always been a vision of mine to live in the mountains and Kali gave me that push!
So as I close I offer respect and a nod to the men and women who served and later died in, or because of, military service and for whom this Memorial Day holiday honors. But this weekend will also always be a time that I recall Kali’s arrival and how she changed our lives.
Kali remains omnipresent at The Golden K.
Kali – Memorial Day Weekend 2014Kali Memorial Day Weekend 2016 at The Golden KSissie-Mama Kali with her pack
Kali crossed the bridge over a year ago and there is not a day that ends where I haven’t thought about her at least once. I find myself day dreaming about her. At night she is often in my dreams. Her name comes off my lips at times when I am speaking to one of her sissies. Sometimes I call out to her for no reason in particular other than to beckon her sweet spirit. And I will speak softly to her when I see a picture of her on my computer or in a photo frame.
I miss her desperately. Not in a deliberating way, or even in a sad way. But in a way that stops me in my tracks and takes my breath away as I realize what an incredible relationship we had and what a very special dog Kali was. Her history is storied having been rescued in Taiwan and flying across the world into our arms in the SF Bay Area. Two years later we moved to the Sierra Nevada Foothills and she was an instant local. Nothing ever phased her. She adapted within minutes to any new environment or situation. And like a true Golden she loved all people almost as much as she loved food. 🙂
Recently a picture came up in my Facebook Memories. A photo from four years ago. In the photo Kali, Kloe, Koda, and Holly were all lying on the floor sleeping. Everyone was tired from a day of playing off and on in the snow. What struck me about this photo was that as they slept on the floor Kloe, Koda, and Holly each had their heads resting against Kali. She was our anchor. She was our energy. She was our heartbeat. Kali was and remains the pulse of The Golden K!
Kali, anchoring a power nap after a day in the snow. February 5, 2019
I miss my walks with Kali. There are times when I find myself missing the days when it was just Kali and I. Kali and I and our Creek Trail.
We still lived in the Bay Area town of Livermore when Kali joined the pack. There was a trail through the neighborhood that ran along a small creek and a local 9 hole golf course. The trail head was at the end of our street. Kali and I walked that trail almost every day and it became a very special place for us.
I don’t miss the Bay Area for a second. But I do miss our Creek Trail and our daily walks along it!
Kali and I got to know each other on our Creek Trail. She was great on a leash except when other dogs passed by which made her nervous. We eventually worked through that issue. In retrospect it was one of many ways that we gained a deeper understanding of one another. The pace of our walks was great. She was a little prissy and had a cute lightness to her walk. I recall one time taking her for a walk with a friend and my friend says, “look – she prances”. So although not athletic she was very light on her feet. Like a dancer…
I think what I miss most about our walks are the long talks Kali and I had along the way. Under all circumstances Kali and I were in regular communication with each other; especially during the first several months and especially when we walked. I used words and gestures. Kali used her eyes and body language and sometimes a grunt or a small bark. We learned each other and learned from each other. Over the years I realized that I learned much more from Kali than she from me. She was a great teacher!
Sometimes we walked in silence. Walks where we were justtogether. Words, gestures, or body language wasn’t necessary. I loved those times when our cadence and rhythm were in total sync. We walked in total peace, as one, and side by side.
In 2016 we moved to Tuolumne City; a rural community in the Sierra Nevada Foothills. Our walks became different. We would walk on dirt and gravel roads under majestic pine and oak trees. Homes were not side by side in this neighborhood. Instead they were set back off the road on parcels of two to three acres or more. Wildlife was much more evident. On the Creek Trail we regularly saw geese and ducks. Along our new walking venue we would encounter black tail deers, wild turkeys, and farm animals: pigs, goats and horses and cows. One would think that all the new sights, and especially the smells, would have been like a smorgasbord for Kali. But just as when Kali arrived in Livermore from Taiwan -and immediately assimilated- she seemed to do the same in Tuolumne. She pranced along our walks with a calm demeanor as if she had lived here all her life.
As the years passed Kali and I walked less and less – both in frequency and distance. Her legs were no longer very strong and her hip displaysia became more of a factor. Kali was always eager to have out and about time with me (and I with her) so she of course jumped (figuratively not literally cause remember her hips 🙂 ) at the chance to go on walks. But the pace became slower, there were more stops along the way and I often had to coax her to move along.
Eventually the walks stopped completely and Kali began sleeping much of the day. We always found time to be together just to the two of us. During those times we talked and reminisced about our Creek Trail. And sometimes we just sat in silence. And our cadence and rhythm were in total sync. We were together and at peace.
From the day Kali came into my life, whether we were walking along our Creek Trail in Livermore, navigating the rural roads around the Golden K, or just sitting in silence on the deck looking out at a warm evening sky, my Golden Kali and I were always been in sync. Same cadence and same rhythm. And same heartbeat.
KALI AND OUR CREEK TRAIL, LIVERMORE CA
Never too early for Kali to pose at our favorite spot.A glorious autumn morning. Good girl!
I’m sure the answer, or a scientific opinion, is in one of the many books I have about canine behavior and development. But rather than scouring those books for corroborative information I turned to the source of all knowledge: Google. Or as Holly calls it, “Uncle Google”. I firmly believe that one can find any answer they want – correct or otherwise – by searching the internet. Of course we all have our reliable sites that we trust, or search engines that may return more mainstream information than others. But bottom line if one digs deep enough one can find a plethora of information to support their opinion or beliefs.
So now realizing that Uncle Google is not a reliable source for something as important as learning if dogs can recognize smiles I turned to the real experts. My girls Kloe and Koda.
I sat them down in front of me and began the conversation…
“Girls, I need your help. I’m trying to figure out if you can recognize smiles and know what they mean”. The girls sit patiently waiting for a biscuit that doesn’t come. “Girls, please pay attention.” Koda lies down but continues to pay attention. Kloe is looking out the window for a ball. “Kloe – watch!” She does.
I go on to describe the smile to them. “Girls, as humans we smile in many ways for many reasons. We smile when something is funny; that smile may be accompanied by laughter. We smile at the end of movie with a happy ending or when the hero prevails. You’ve seen me do that, right? Sometimes we smile when we feel sorry or bad for someone; a smile that says, ” I feel bad for you and wish I could help”. At this point I’ve totally lost Koda who wonders off to the kitchen. Kloe stays close still believing there is a biscuit in her future.
I give one last example. I say, “And of course humans smile just at the site of puppies, or even the thought of puppies!” Kloe seems to be thinking back to the last time we brought a puppy home (Koda) and is reticent at the mention of puppies. Koda, who must have continued to listen from the kitchen, comes running over and again is sitting in front of me with full attention. A giant thought bubble appears over her head that says, “Puppies? Did you say Puppies? Because the other day Mom told me that I needed a puppy to keep me busy and to play with when Kloe didn’t want to play. Did you say Puppy? Are you really going to get me a puppy??”
I now realize this is an exercise in futility. The girls are staying nearby only because they think I have biscuits in my pocket. [Full disclosure – I may have promised a treat at some point to hold their attention]. I consider getting up, giving them a biscuit, and returning to Uncle Google if he will still have me. But I decide to try an experiment to see of dogs can recognize a smile.
“Ok girls” I say. “Sit down here together”. I return to my chair about 10 feet away. I stare at the girls. They stare back at me. I wait a moment for dramatic pause. And then, I smile. A big ear to ear smile. They run to me in unison and eagerly lick my face and my giant smile.
And there it is. The proof. Dogs do recognize smiles! My highly scientific experiment in a controlled setting with documented parameters and standardized measurements proves that dogs do recognize smiles!
Feeling very proud of myself and satisfied with my results I sit back to revel in the moment with my girls. They stare at me and both now have thought bubbles over their heads:
Kloe: “Where’s my biscuit?”
Koda: “Where’s my puppy?”
These girls of mine. How they make me smile!
No animals – specifically Kloe and Koda – were harmed during this highly scientific experiment in canine behavior. 🙂
A friend and recent follower of this Golden Kali blog told me that she read all the posts from beginning to current. She said she wanted to really know Kali’s story so she started from the beginning. Wow – that is quite a compliment that is not lost on me! It also inspired me to do the same – go back and re-read all my posts from the beginning. The beginning was the day after Kali’s arrival from Taiwan in May of 2014.
I’m currently up to July of 2016 and as I am reading these posts two things have stood out to me.
The first is how special my relationship with Kali was (and still is even though she is gone).
In my heart and soul I knew from day one that Kali was special. She was meant for me and I was meant for her! I knew it then, I know it now, and I will always know it. It was a once in a lifetime gift bestowed upon Kali and I from destiny.
Reading these posts again after so many years has reminded me in great detail of all the special moments Kali and I had together. For the first two years it was just Kali and I. We were almost always together. There were no other canine siblings and Kali had the full compliment of my attention 24/7. These early days – just her and I – established a foundation of mutual trust, respect, and love. And most importantly it established a bond that cannot be broken. I love Kloe and Koda as much as Kali but the relationships are a little different. There has never been just Kloe. There has never been just Koda. But there were two years when there was just Kali. Reading these old posts has reminded me of that special time in our lives with a renewed appreciation of what Kali meant to me and me to her.
The second thing that has stood out is the relationships and camaraderie that developed between fellow bloggers and followers of Golden Kali.
After each post I have also been reading comments made by these people many who have become friends over the years.
When my daughter was a teen-ager, in the early days of social media, she would occasionally refer to someone as her friend who she knew online from a social media site. As a parent this made me very concerned for obvious reasons. That my daughter was referring to someone as a friend who she had never met face to face or even voice to voice on the phone was a worry for me.
But later, through the Golden Kali blog, I realized that it was possible to make friends through social media. Comments resulting from blog posts created a basis for me to get to know the regular followers and vice-versa. While Kali has always been the “perfect” dog like so many rescues she had her set of challenges. I wrote about these challenges and many followers, offered empathy, advice, or simply shared a similar experience. I also followed their blogs and through ongoing dialogue and sharing of experiences – and life in general – we’ve developed friendships. For that I’m grateful.
So Kali, although physically gone, continues to very present in my life. I don’t expect that to ever change. Re-reading our story from beginning has been a great reminder (for my brain) of everything Kali means to me. This of course is something my heart always knew and will never need to be reminded of.
Koda has been a great addition to our family. It’s hard to believe it’s been over three years since we adopted her at four months old. She and Kloe are almost always together and have grown to be good companions even though there is some sibling rivalry from time to time. It’s heartening to know that since only two years separate them they should have many more years together as they grow older.
But before there was Koda there was just Kali and Kloe.
Kali was seven years old when Kloe joined our pack at just nine weeks old. Kali was just the right age and had an ideal temperament for bringing a puppy into the family. She quickly accepted the new little whippersnapper and become a surrogate mother during Kloe’s formative years. They became great companions to one another. Kali was still young enough to have interest in playing. At first very gentle and then as Kloe grew larger and stronger more vigorous. It didn’t take Kloe long to become larger and stronger than Kali. By 9 months old she was 75 pounds surpassing Kali’s 60. As Kloe got older they became more of equals, never any competition or rivalry as there is at times between Koda and Kloe. Even as Kloe grew older and larger she continued to seek comfort from Kali as she did when she was a wee pup. I know that Kali enjoyed having a companion in Kloe and they were never far apart from one another.
Kali has slowed way down over the past year or so. She has wobbly legs, poor eyesight, hearing loss, and she doesn’t seem to have a good sense of smell any longer. Other than that she’s fantastic! 🙂 It’s become harder and harder for her to get around and at 12 plus years now she mostly sleeps. She’s earned it and she maintains a very special spot in my heart and in my day to day life.
Recently I pulled up some old photos of when it was just Kali and Kloe. It was fun to look back a photos of Kloe at 15 or 20 pounds laying on big sister Kali and then seeing photos from over the years with Kloe still using Kali as a pillow. And the photos of just the two of them hanging out together sometimes being a little goofy. Although the pack dynamics have changed over the past few years with the addition of Koda and with Kali aging, it continues to make me happy to know there is still a special bond between Kali and Kloe!
Golden Kali 