Three years since Kali crossed the bridge

December 30, 2024

It’s been three years since Kali crossed the bridge.

It was the afternoon of January 1, 2022 when our vet and dear friend Tanya came to our home to administer to Kali and help us send her over the bridge with her angel wings. It was a very peaceful transition for Kali who was never in any pain as far as we could tell. But at about 12 or 13 years old her tank was empty, her legs were wobbly, her eyes were clouded, and at times she seemed confused. I will always treasure the memory of Kali laying down with her head in my hands as she took her last breath with Holly and Tanya sitting next to me and Kali on the carpeted floor.

As this third anniversary comes and goes, like every other day since, I will harken the imagery and fond memories I have of Kali. Her story has been told here in this blog since the day after she arrived from Taiwan – May 24, 2014.

The evolving tag line of this blog also chronicles major milestones in our life with Kali:

Originally the tagline was “Kali’s New Life in America”.
Then it became “Kali’s New Life In The Mountains” when we moved to the Sierra Nevada Foothills with Kali, and also with 9 week old Kloe.
When Kali crossed the bridge the tagline became, “Life At Th Golden K Without Kali”
And most recently it is “Life With The Red Girls“

From the moment we picked Kali up at SFO until the moment of her last breath Kali was easy going, did everything I asked of her, and was through mutual choice, always by my side. She was not destructive; she never chewed a shoe or furniture. She never had “accidents”, and always greeted visitors with a smile and wagging tail.

Besides being my ‘heart dog”, Kali was my friend. She was my confidant and knew my deepest secrets and fears. She calmed me with her presence and was always patient with me. Except at meal time! With Kali, all bets were off when it came to meal time. Meal time was her favorite time of the day, every day until the day she passed. Meal time was not negotiable with Kali. She fired laser beams from her eyes to my heart when meals weren’t prepared on time; or at the time she felt was THE time. When it came to food Kali did not have a sense of humor. “Feed me, feed me, feed me” she would chant until the bowl full of delicious was place under her nose.

The mythical Rainbow Bridge has various origins. One of the more popular origins is the “The Rainbow Bridge Poem” by an unknown author. I’ve always appreciated the concept and imagery of a place where pets go after they die. A place where they are restored to good health and run and play in the sun while they wait for us, their beloved pet parents, to join them. The last two paragraphs of that poem bring me peace when I think of my Golden Kali.

[The pets] “all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent. Her eager body quivers. Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

Golden Kali lounging in her domain and name sake, The Golden K

Watching Our Pups Age

March 24, 2024

It’s usually just before lights out, and right before I get into my own bed, that I lay down with Kloe for our night time ritual of cuddles and whispers of sweet nothings. She lays curled up on her mat looking aristocratic and regal. My eyes are fixed on her and she stares back at me with her big and loving chestnut eyes. There is no denying that at eight years old Kloe is entering her senior years. As I approach I call her “Queenie” and our brief ritual begins. Although at times Kloe still exhibits puppy-like behavior, true to her breed, her face is seasoned and peppered with a greying muzzle.

Kloe is our only Golden Retriever that we adopted as a true straight from the litter puppy. Bailey, our first Golden, was 18 months when we rescued him years ago as a birthday present for our son. Kali was approximately five when she flew from Taiwan into our lives and hearts. Koda, although still a puppy, was four months when she stormed into our pack.

Kloe was just nine weeks. She was from a litter of three other females. I can remember meeting all three puppies and noticing Kloe’s calm demeanor and a pouty face. I loved the pouty face!… Fast forward and now at lights out, as I lay next to my eight year old Queenie, I see the same pouty face that I saw in that seven week old puppy. It makes me happy that I can still see the puppy in her face. Although I’m glad that in some ways we are growing “older” together, the reality is that Kloe will very pass before I do if we are both fortunate enough to live our full life’s expectancy.

So how old is Kloe in human years?

There are various ways to calculate your dog’s age. The most common method, although not accurate, is seven years for every human year. In Dr. Karen Shaw Becker’s book The Forever Dog she references a 2019 study by researchers at the University of California, San Diego. In their research they found that most dogs follow a similar developmental trajectory reaching puberty at ten months and dying before age twenty. The research team created a new way to measure aging in dogs which, as Dr. Becker says, is a “bit more complex than multiplying by seven”. This formula, the researchers say, applies to dogs older than one. In other words once the dog turns one the math works. The formula is 16 x ln (where ln is the dog’s age) +31. To work out your dog’s “human” age, first enter the dog’s age then press ln on a scientific calculator. Then multiply the figure you get by 16, and finally add 31.

When I do this for Kloe’s age which is eight, the result is 64.3

More dog and less science…

One recent evening during our lights out ritual and as Kloe and I were nose to nose, I realized something I had not thought of before. It dawned on me that with our pups we often see them go from wee little puppy, to adolescent, to adulthood, to senior, to end-of-life. We watch them go through their entire life spanning stages and years. I won’t see this with my human children. Of course I would not want to. No child should pass before their parent. But with our pups, at least for me, it’s different.

Kloe is healthy, runs like a gazelle with her muscular physique on full display, and can chase down and catch a ball like a major league center fielder. Over the coming years I’ll see her continue to age. I’ll see her greying muzzle day-by day turn into a classic “clown face” (I wish there was a better term for that). She’ll begin to slow and eventually the slow will turn to stop. When that time comes I will consider it a blessing and an honor to have been there with my sweet Kloe for the entire and full run of a dog’s life.

Forget the science. Forget the formulaic manner in which to measure arbitrary milestones. One month, one year, one day? How about one life?

And It all began with a pouty face.

2016: Kloe 9 weeks old and first day home

Kloe is Eight! No way…

March 4, 2024

Right side of my brain: “Kloe is eight”.

Left side of my brain: “No way!!”

Right side of my brain: “Yes way! Look it up…”

Wow!

I didn’t have to look it up. It’s true. My puppy, my baby, my sweet sweet Kloe who I now sometimes refer to as ~~Queenie~~ Kweenie, turned eight today.

Left side of my brain: “How the heck did that happen?”

Right side of my brain: “She was born and then the earth circled the sun eight times”.

Left side of my brain: “Shut up Mr. Logical!”

In my heart Kloe is still the nine week old puppy we brought home all those years ago and introduced to Golden Kali who quickly became her “Sissy-Mama”, mentor, and best friend! Kloe helped shape our pack and continues to bring us great joy and happiness. She is our guardian, our protector, and the heart and soul of The Golden K.

Right side of my brain: “But you do know it’s been eight years, right?

Left side of my brain: “Yep! Eight years of love, devotion, and joy!”

Right side of my brain: “I agree. Happy Birthday Kloe!”

Kloe Through The Years

Sorry Kloe!

January 7, 2024

Kloe could have never hung out with the Seven Dwarfs. Mainly because of Sneezy.

Sneezy is one of the seven dwarfs in Disney’s 1937 animated feature film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. As a result of severe hay fever or cold seasons, Sneezy is prone to eruptive, unpredictable, and uncontrollable bouts of sneezing, hence his name.
From the Fandom Disney Wiki, https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/The_Disney_Wiki

Eruptive, unpredictable, and uncontrollable bouts of sneezing do not go over very well with Kloe! When Kloe hears a sneeze she will stop whatever she’s doing, or isn’t doing as the case may be, and run to my side and lean her entire 80 pound body into me all the while staring with her beautiful chestnut colored eyes into mine. But honestly, after 8 years I am still not 100 percent certain if she is there to save me or for me to protect her.

When Kloe was a puppy there was a time when we used a “Pet Protector” to discourage certain behaviors. You know, like not cleaning her room, skipping out on her chores around the house, and not getting homework done on time. Just (obviously) kidding… Unwanted behaviors like jumping up on visitors, digging where she shouldn’t be, etc. The Pet Corrector lets out a loud hissing sound from compressed air in a can. It always got Kloe’s attention and she would immediately cease the unwanted behavior and come running to Holly’s or my side with fear in her eyes. Although the Pet Corrector stopped the unwanted behavior it also scared the poop (not literally) out of Kloe so we didn’t use it very long. I want my pups to behave but not out of fear for their lives!

A sneeze sounds a lot like the Pet Corrector. So for the longest time we thought Kloe was having Pet Corrector flashbacks whenever someone sneezed.

Kloe is a highly sensitive dog. She senses when people are sad or not feeling well. At those times she will go to that person, lean her body into them, and gaze at them with loving, caring, and her aforementioned beautiful chestnut colored eyes.”Feel better, get better”, she seems to plead. We began thinking that Kloe interpreted the sneeze as a sign of illness or distress for the “sneezer” and took it upon herself to care for that person.

But that theory didn’t last very long. We soon realized that if Holly sneezed Kloe would come running to me. Holly would say, “Thanks Kloe; I’m the one in distress but you’re worried about Dad?!” So more recently we are back to thinking that sneezes just scare Kloe whether because of the Pet Corrector days or just because she’s a sissy wimp. 🙂

So these days whenever one of us sneezes we’ll say “sorry Kloe” as she comes running to our side. I even go so far as to run into another room when I feel a sneeze coming on so Kloe won’t hear it. The things we do for our pups, right? Our friends have even become acutely aware that if they sneeze Kloe will react. They too will say, “Sorry Kloe”.

But here is the kicker. Kloe understands the word “sneeze”. If I feel a sneeze coming on – and don’t think I can make it to another room or closet to sneeze – I’ll say, “Sorry Kloe, I think I am going to sneeze.” Kloe will immediately come to my side as if I had already sneezed.

Moral of the story: If you are within earshot of Kloe, avoid Eruptive, unpredictable, and uncontrollable bouts of sneezing at all costs !

IQ versus EQ

August 7, 2023

A lot has been written about IQ – “intelligence quotient” and EQ – “emotional quotient”. A quick Google search and review of various website definitions boils down to this:

IQ tests measure your ability to solve problems, use logic, and grasp or communicate complex ideas. EQ tests measure your ability to recognize emotion in yourself and others, and to use that awareness to guide your decisions
https://www.healthline.com/health/eq-vs-iq#bottom-line

This is of course referencing IQ and EQ for humans. But what about dogs? Do dogs have a similar set of measurements. Can IQ and EQ be applied to dogs when assessing their strengths and tendencies? I think they do. This is not a scientific blog. It’s a blog about dogs. So I am not going to try to corroborate my opinion with anything other than my experiences with my own dogs.

I’ll start with Koda, my five year old. I believe she has a very high iQ. She is the most intelligent dog I’ve had. She is good at problem solving, she is an effective verbal communicator, and attentively listens for direction understanding the words I say and actions I ask her take. I can see it in her eyes when I speak to her. She processes the information and in parallel formulates a response. If she disagrees she lets me know.

Kloe’s strength is her EQ. My non-expert opinion is that Kloe would have made a very good service dog. We considered that for a time when she was younger but for various reasons never pursued it. Kloe can read the room and know when someone is upset or not feeling well. She will gravitate to that person, if she is able, and sit next to them and lean in or lay at their feet. When a visitor comes to the house Kloe is instantly in love. With a wildly wagging tail, she attempts to sit at our visitor’s side as they enter our home. She groans in pleasure and stares up a their eyes. And all the while Koda is jumping and barking (much to our chagrin) as she competes with Kloe for our visitor’s attention. We scold Koda and say, “Down!” Kloe immediately goes to a down position in an attempt to defuse the ~~craziness~~ situation.

I know these are very common behaviors and tendencies with most dogs. My point is that in my girls I see similar distinctions as it relates to IQ versus EQ.

All this is not say that Koda doesn’t have compassion or that Kloe is dumb. Not in the least. If Kloe senses a threat – real or otherwise – to one of us or our property she goes into protect mode as the Guardian Of The Golden K. Kloe will begin barking and patrolling. Koda often will try to see what Kloe sees (sometimes nothing) and look back at me as if to say, “Dad, I don’t see anything. Tell me what to do”.

Kloe feels. Koda thinks.

Maybe this is what makes these two a good team. Long time followers of the Golden Kali blog may be thinking, “What about Kali? Where does she fall on the question of IQ versus EQ?

That’s fair and good question. As I’ve been writing this I have also asked myself that question. The same long time followers know my bias and how special Kali was, and remains, to me. So I will answer that question like this:

Kali transcends the question of IQ versus EQ. She thinks on a different level than most humans and canines. Kali played 4 dimensional chess in her sleep. Kali could levitate. Kali was a Jedi Master of Dogs and I was fortunate to be her Padawan ( A Jedi’s apprentice). Kali’s Midi-chlorian counts were the highest ever recorded in a dog. [Sorry – did I jump the shark with that last reference to Star Wars?]

Happy Seventh – no singing please….

March 12, 2023

Kloe had a birthday this month. We don’t usually make a big deal for our girl’s birthdays. Honestly, every day is a party for them! They are quite spoiled and I’m ok with it. Especially since it is mostly me doing the spoiling… 🙂 So Kloe’s seventh came and went without much fanfare other than me singing Happy Birthday to her before dinner.

As is our usual routine the girls gather near my legs as I prepare their dinner and then follow me to the area that I put their bowls down. They sit, ~~look adoringly at me~~ wait patiently for the signal, and once the signal is given (a clap of my hands) they stand up and begin their meal.

It’s usually only a few seconds before I clap my hands to release them to their bowls and they are very good about waiting. They know to “watch” me, not the bowls, and once I have their full attention I clap. Kloe has always been good at “watch”. She will hold a watch with a fixed stare into my eyes forever. The longer she watches the farther back her head tilts. I’m sure if I made her watch long enough she would topple backwards! Koda is less, let’s say, focused. Before I release them to their bowls Koda’s eyes alternate between my eyes and her bowl of food. Little flickers back and forth without moving her head; just her eyes, It really delays the process much, I’m sure, to Kloe’s chagrin. With Koda, any little movement on my part that even looks like I am going to clap makes here lean towards the bowl. When she doesn’t hear the clap she pulls back. If she was a track runner her nickname would be “False Start”!

So on this seventh birthday evening I placed their bowls on the ground and they put themselves in a sit expecting a quick watch, a clap, and then delicious food entering their bellies. But instead I began singing Happy Birthday to Kloe. Very slowly I sang, “Happy birthday to you, [pause] happy birthday to you…” [pause]. Both girls sat there looking at me a little confused and hungry. By the time I got to “Kloe” as in “happy birthday dear Kloe” Koda had enough and quickly moved to her bowl and began eating. Kloe looked at me and gave me a figurative shrug of her shoulders with her eyes, and also started eating.

I feebly clapped my hands while muttering to myself, “happy birthday to you oooh…..”.

Happy Birthday Klo-Klo. My Klois Marie, my Kloe Bowie, my Sugar-lips!

Kloe The Lover (not a fighter)

January 8, 2023

Kali was the first and oldest. She had a storied history long before Kloe joined the pack. Kloe always looked up to Kali and considered Kali the alpha until the day Kali crossed the bridge. Koda, the youngest, has always been ~~a loud mouth~~ gregarious. From the day she joined the pack at 4 months old, Koda demanded vocally and physically the attention of everyone in the room and general vicinity. So with Koda, Kloe usually has no choice but to play second banana. And I think for the most part that’s ok with Kloe.

Kloe The Puppy

Kloe was 7 weeks old when we met her and her litter mates. There was “Green”, “Purple”, and “Red” as designated by the color of their ribbon collars. We sat on the lawn in the yard of the rescue group’s organizer watching the puppies romp around. We picked them up, sat them on our laps, and interacted with them in our effort to see which one would be right for us. OK, full disclosure: I laid on the grass and ~~let them~~ encouraged the puppies to crawl on top of me and smother me with golden love!

After about an hour we decided that “Red” was the one for us. We liked her her confidence and calm demeanor. At only seven weeks she seemed interested in more than just her siblings and these new human visitors as we observed her looking beyond her immediate surroundings with a serious and quizzical look. And, she had a little pouty face that I fell in love with! We decided Red’s name would be Kloe. Two weeks later we went back to pick her up and bring her home. That was almost seven years ago.

Kloe The Lover

There is a saying, “I’m a lover (not a fighter). That’s Kloe!

Approaching seven years this Spring, Kloe has been a full fledged Golden Retriever adult dog for over three years. She has always been rather serious and never displayed some of the goofy and silly attributes that make many Goldens so fun and entertaining. That’s not to say Kloe doesn’t have fun. It’s just she approaches things with purpose. Whether it’s catching a ball, engaging in play with her sister Koda, or mealtime. Kloe is also very earnest; especially when meeting new people. She tries her best not to get too excited as we remind her not to jump). She’ll place herself in a sit at her new friend’s side looking up at them the entire time while her tail wags excitedly. She lets out deep groans as if to say “I just met you but I love you so much!”

Kloe Our Protector

Kloe, even as a 6 month old puppy, has always had a very deep bark. As docile as she is Kloe’s bark is a force to be reckoned with. If Koda’s high pitched bark is the “alarm” then Kloe’s bark is the ancient battle horn calling the troops into formation and ready to charge! The alarm sounds, the battle horn blows, and she is off to defend the Golden K with little sister Koda along side as her squire. Kloe typically starts out her day by smelling most of the front and back areas of our home along the fence lines. She methodically, much to the chagrin of her less interested sister, inspects every inch assessing what critter may have been there the night before. When she finally arrives back at the kitchen door for her breakfast meal I sarcastically ask her if the perimeter is secure and she ~~nods affirmatively~~ looks up at me expressionless and sits and waits for breakfast.

Kloe Our Conscience

When I look at Kloe I see honesty. I see compassion. I see a peace maker. Sure, these are human traits but why not also true for dogs? Kloe’s eyes tell the truth. Her body language adapts to the people around her. And when confronted with the choice to share or fight for what is hers (a ball, a bone, or a stick) she will usually acquiesce to the perpetrator (Koda). Admittedly I’d prefer to see her stand up for herself more but that’s Kloe; always willing to stand down to keep the peace.

Because remember, she’s a lover (not a fighter).

Sissy Mama

June 5, 2022

As Kali grew older I began referring to her, in relationship to her two sisters Kloe and Koda, as Sissy Mama. None of my girls were blood related but they were and are sisters (sissies) no less. So we would always refer to them as sissies. “Koda, where is your sissy”. Or, “Kloe, go get your sissies for dinner”. Yes we well I speak to them as though they are my kids. Because they are!

But Kali was much older and she became the Sissy Mama.

Six years shouldn’t seem so long ago. But if I think in “dog years” it is quite some time. Like six years ago when we brought Kloe home as a nine-week old puppy. That was a long time ago. Looking at her now, as she sleeps by my feet (filling in the empty space Kali left under my feet when she crossed the bridge), it’s hard to think that Kloe was ever a wee pup of 16 pounds. Green, fearless, and ripe for schooling by an older dog. Enter Kali.

Since Kali has been gone I find myself looking at pictures of her from over the years. Like today when I came across some pictures and videos of the first day we brought Kloe home. After the initial few minutes, when Kali made it very clear that Kloe was not welcome in her house, she quickly warmed up to Kloe and was every bit the surrogate mama we hoped she would be.

I had forgotten how inseparable Kali and Kloe were when Kloe was a pup. Mostly because at only weeks and months old Kloe adored Kali and followed her everywhere she went. There were so many tender moments sleeping side by side or on top of one another. And there were periods of play when Kali exhibited great patience with her new little sissy and also delivered lessons when needed.

In retrospect I now realize that Kali became the Sissy Mama the moment we brought Kloe through the front door in Livermore at 9 weeks old on May 7, 2016.

Sissy Mama In Action

Sissy Mama Gallery

Kali and Kloe

November 30, 2021

Koda has been a great addition to our family. It’s hard to believe it’s been over three years since we adopted her at four months old. She and Kloe are almost always together and have grown to be good companions even though there is some sibling rivalry from time to time. It’s heartening to know that since only two years separate them they should have many more years together as they grow older.

But before there was Koda there was just Kali and Kloe.

Kali was seven years old when Kloe joined our pack at just nine weeks old. Kali was just the right age and had an ideal temperament for bringing a puppy into the family. She quickly accepted the new little whippersnapper and become a surrogate mother during Kloe’s formative years. They became great companions to one another. Kali was still young enough to have interest in playing. At first very gentle and then as Kloe grew larger and stronger more vigorous. It didn’t take Kloe long to become larger and stronger than Kali. By 9 months old she was 75 pounds surpassing Kali’s 60. As Kloe got older they became more of equals, never any competition or rivalry as there is at times between Koda and Kloe. Even as Kloe grew older and larger she continued to seek comfort from Kali as she did when she was a wee pup. I know that Kali enjoyed having a companion in Kloe and they were never far apart from one another.

Kali has slowed way down over the past year or so. She has wobbly legs, poor eyesight, hearing loss, and she doesn’t seem to have a good sense of smell any longer. Other than that she’s fantastic! 🙂 It’s become harder and harder for her to get around and at 12 plus years now she mostly sleeps. She’s earned it and she maintains a very special spot in my heart and in my day to day life.

Recently I pulled up some old photos of when it was just Kali and Kloe. It was fun to look back a photos of Kloe at 15 or 20 pounds laying on big sister Kali and then seeing photos from over the years with Kloe still using Kali as a pillow. And the photos of just the two of them hanging out together sometimes being a little goofy. Although the pack dynamics have changed over the past few years with the addition of Koda and with Kali aging, it continues to make me happy to know there is still a special bond between Kali and Kloe!

Kids and Dogs

November 22, 2021

Kids

I’ve always likened having dogs to having children. We do so many things for our dogs that we do or did for our kids. We feed them, educate them, entertain, love, discipline, and so on. We even refer to them as our kids, our fur-babies, or in my case as “the girls”. Our human children are all gown and have been out of the house for many years. There are many things I don’t know about their day to day lives. When they were very young I observed and knew every small detail of their lives. As they grew older I saw less and eventually knew less. Which is the way it should be. I know as I grew older into a young adult and beyond my parents knew less and less of the details of my life. I needed them less. They were glad I was independent. I feel the same way about my grown children.

My kids many years ago. Left to right Michael (now 34), Jessi (now 30), and Jonathan (now 37). Wow! In some ways I wish they could have stayed just like in this photo forever. But time marches on. They are independent with full and robust lives of their own.

Dogs

But with our dogs it’s a little different. They never become independent in the way our children do. They rely on us their entire lives for their care and well being. While there are many similarities between a puppy and a human baby, the baby grows to be a toddler and beyond and they puppy grows to be like a toddler and mostly plateaus there. As dogs mature and age we continue to not only know, but also mostly control all the details of our their lives. When they eat we know it. When they walk we know it. When they find themselves into some sort of trouble or problem we not only know it but also correct it. Our dogs become moderately independent for short amounts of time but they can’t be (or shouldn’t be) left overnight by themselves. And as they grow older, like my 12 year old Kali, they need us more and more.

My “girls” a few hours ago. Left to right Koda (3.5 years, Kali (12 years), and Kloe (5 .5 years). Koda has finally matured into a toddler, Kali’s hips and eyes are deteriorating, and Kloe’s muzzle is graying. Like their human siblings they also have a full and robust life but rely on Holly and I to make sure of that. They are very dependent and we are ok with that.

So having dogs is like having kids but way different.

The Golden Kali Blog

Newer followers of Golden Kali can get caught up to speed about each of my girls here:

Thanks to everyone who follows Golden Kali! We’ve been away for a while busy with pack life but will be posting much more often. Tells us what you think about the Golden Kali blog and what questions or interests you may have about life in the mountains with three Golden Retrievers.