Three years since Kali crossed the bridge

December 30, 2024

It’s been three years since Kali crossed the bridge.

It was the afternoon of January 1, 2022 when our vet and dear friend Tanya came to our home to administer to Kali and help us send her over the bridge with her angel wings. It was a very peaceful transition for Kali who was never in any pain as far as we could tell. But at about 12 or 13 years old her tank was empty, her legs were wobbly, her eyes were clouded, and at times she seemed confused. I will always treasure the memory of Kali laying down with her head in my hands as she took her last breath with Holly and Tanya sitting next to me and Kali on the carpeted floor.

As this third anniversary comes and goes, like every other day since, I will harken the imagery and fond memories I have of Kali. Her story has been told here in this blog since the day after she arrived from Taiwan – May 24, 2014.

The evolving tag line of this blog also chronicles major milestones in our life with Kali:

Originally the tagline was “Kali’s New Life in America”.
Then it became “Kali’s New Life In The Mountains” when we moved to the Sierra Nevada Foothills with Kali, and also with 9 week old Kloe.
When Kali crossed the bridge the tagline became, “Life At Th Golden K Without Kali”
And most recently it is “Life With The Red Girls“

From the moment we picked Kali up at SFO until the moment of her last breath Kali was easy going, did everything I asked of her, and was through mutual choice, always by my side. She was not destructive; she never chewed a shoe or furniture. She never had “accidents”, and always greeted visitors with a smile and wagging tail.

Besides being my ‘heart dog”, Kali was my friend. She was my confidant and knew my deepest secrets and fears. She calmed me with her presence and was always patient with me. Except at meal time! With Kali, all bets were off when it came to meal time. Meal time was her favorite time of the day, every day until the day she passed. Meal time was not negotiable with Kali. She fired laser beams from her eyes to my heart when meals weren’t prepared on time; or at the time she felt was THE time. When it came to food Kali did not have a sense of humor. “Feed me, feed me, feed me” she would chant until the bowl full of delicious was place under her nose.

The mythical Rainbow Bridge has various origins. One of the more popular origins is the “The Rainbow Bridge Poem” by an unknown author. I’ve always appreciated the concept and imagery of a place where pets go after they die. A place where they are restored to good health and run and play in the sun while they wait for us, their beloved pet parents, to join them. The last two paragraphs of that poem bring me peace when I think of my Golden Kali.

[The pets] “all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent. Her eager body quivers. Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

Golden Kali lounging in her domain and name sake, The Golden K

The Wild Child Turns Six

June 2, 2024

Koda. Fittingly named The Wild Child several years ago by a dear friend who has had many many Goldens in her life. The nick name has been spot on!

When you Google the word tenacity you get pictures of Koda. When you say, “Hey Koda, you wanna fight?” she’s already in your face bellowing her trademark “Roo, Roo, Roo”. Koda is a tough cookie who doesn’t back down.

Koda joined our pack in September of 2018 as a four month-old puppy. She weighed 22 pounds. but, as I learned, in her mind she was much bigger. It only took her a couple of hours to figure out she could boss Kloe around. Kloe, two years old and around 80 pounds at the time at first went easy on Koda. She recognized her size advantage and instinctively knew not to go at full strength. While an indifferent Kali sauntered off to sleep in the sun, Kloe and Koda began to get acquainted. There were puppy poses all around and then they were off to the races playing chase. Koda’s confidence ~~grew~~ was immediately evident and enthusiastic wrestling ensued. Kloe continued to acquiesce to the size differential. But when the little whipper snapper refused to back down – as most puppies with a 60 pound disadvantage would do – Kloe decided it was time to school her new baby sister. Boom – take down for Kloe! Koda went rolling over a few times from the take down. That should do it, right? Nope. “Nice try Kloe”, Koda seemed to say as she got off her back. She shook off the dust and immediately initiated more rough play. And so it went for the day and weeks to follow. And to a large degree still does albeit at a much more reasonable level.

To say that time has flown is a trite and overused term to express surprise at the passing of so much time. So instead I will say that the earth must be spinning faster. How could our little puppy Wild Child be turning six? I would love to say that over these past six years the “wild and child” have evolved into “calm and mature”. [The author shakes his head and mouths the word “Nope!”] OK well maybe a little bit…

Over the years Koda has matured and ~~follows~~ understands the rules and what is expected. But she is the stereotypical third child:

Child #1 (Kali): I follow the rules
Child #2 (Kloe): I’m the reason for the rules
Child #3 (Koda): The rules don’t apply to me

The Good and not so good of Koda:

The not so good; the sneaky thief: A few weeks after joining the pack Koda stole half of a hamburger bun off my plate when we were prepping dinner. I realized it was missing as she was circling the table planning another sneak attach. But wait it gets better. A week or two later I enter the kitchen to see Koda on top of the table foraging for non-existent food! Wow! Probably looking for the other half of the bun…
The very good; loyal to all ends: Koda was around two when Holly and I went out for a few hours. As was the routine when we left during the day the girls – Kali, Kloe, and Koda – were left out on the deck with access to a big chain link fenced area of the property we call “the pen”. When we arrived back home Kloe greets us and and Koda comes running up from the pen barking emphatically and looking back at the pen. She insists we follow her to the pen. When we get there we see Kali stuck in a hole unable to get up due to her bad legs. Although I can’t say for sure I am convinced that Koda stayed by Kali’s side until she heard us pull up and came a running to tell us Kali needed help.

Although Kloe is the pack protector Koda is Kloe’s wingman always providing back up. Even if she doesn’t know what Kloe is barking at or running towards Koda is by her side ready to rumble. I am convinced, and I hope I never have to find out, that if Kloe was physically threatened by another animal Koda would step in front and be the first to fight.

Now at six, most of the tenacious and challenging qualities in Koda still exist but they are tempered. To be fair she has matured. She is a good girl, and if I’m honest, I’m glad she remains a wild child and still has the spirit and energy of a puppy under many circumstances. I’m glad because those qualities make Koda who she is. I used to hope she would change. Once I realized I needed to change and adapt she and I grew much closer. Another lesson learned from one of the four legged pack members!

So, happy sixth birthday to this crazy, loyal, and dedicated wild child Red Girl of mine.

Kloe greeting the Wild Child Koda for the first timer.

The Wild Child all grown up

Memorial Day Weekend 10

May 28, 2024

Why is this Memorial Day Weekend Ten? Because ten years ago on this weekend in 2014 Kali ~~joined~~ started our pack.

Long time followers of The Golden Kali Blog know the story and history of how this special dog changed my life. How she flew from Taiwan with 23 other Golden Retrievers arriving at SFO via China Airlines flight 004 on Saturday evening, May 24th 2014. Those who don’t can read how it started here.

Kali crossed the Bridge on January 1, 2022. But this weekend will always be our special weekend. The weekend when both of our lives changed for the better and forever. For seven and half years Kali was never far from my side physically. Although gone physically Kali remains omnipresent in my life.

The tag lines over the years tell a lot. Initially it was “Kali’s New Life In America”. Then when we moved to the Sierra Nevada Foothills it became “Kali’s New Life In The Mountains“. When she crossed the bridge the tag line became, “Life Without Kali”. And more recently, “Life With The Red Girls“. But don’t let the last tag line fool you. This blog is and will always be about Kali. The influences she had not just on me but on the Red Girls – Kloe and Koda – to whom she was be best “sissy-mama” a puppy could have.

So after ten years – ten Memorial Days – what more can be said? Well, just that it will always be our day – Kali’s and mine. The day the rest of our lives together began.

Kali and I about a week after she arrived from Taiwan, stole my heart, and changed my life.

Watching Our Pups Age

March 24, 2024

It’s usually just before lights out, and right before I get into my own bed, that I lay down with Kloe for our night time ritual of cuddles and whispers of sweet nothings. She lays curled up on her mat looking aristocratic and regal. My eyes are fixed on her and she stares back at me with her big and loving chestnut eyes. There is no denying that at eight years old Kloe is entering her senior years. As I approach I call her “Queenie” and our brief ritual begins. Although at times Kloe still exhibits puppy-like behavior, true to her breed, her face is seasoned and peppered with a greying muzzle.

Kloe is our only Golden Retriever that we adopted as a true straight from the litter puppy. Bailey, our first Golden, was 18 months when we rescued him years ago as a birthday present for our son. Kali was approximately five when she flew from Taiwan into our lives and hearts. Koda, although still a puppy, was four months when she stormed into our pack.

Kloe was just nine weeks. She was from a litter of three other females. I can remember meeting all three puppies and noticing Kloe’s calm demeanor and a pouty face. I loved the pouty face!… Fast forward and now at lights out, as I lay next to my eight year old Queenie, I see the same pouty face that I saw in that seven week old puppy. It makes me happy that I can still see the puppy in her face. Although I’m glad that in some ways we are growing “older” together, the reality is that Kloe will very pass before I do if we are both fortunate enough to live our full life’s expectancy.

So how old is Kloe in human years?

There are various ways to calculate your dog’s age. The most common method, although not accurate, is seven years for every human year. In Dr. Karen Shaw Becker’s book The Forever Dog she references a 2019 study by researchers at the University of California, San Diego. In their research they found that most dogs follow a similar developmental trajectory reaching puberty at ten months and dying before age twenty. The research team created a new way to measure aging in dogs which, as Dr. Becker says, is a “bit more complex than multiplying by seven”. This formula, the researchers say, applies to dogs older than one. In other words once the dog turns one the math works. The formula is 16 x ln (where ln is the dog’s age) +31. To work out your dog’s “human” age, first enter the dog’s age then press ln on a scientific calculator. Then multiply the figure you get by 16, and finally add 31.

When I do this for Kloe’s age which is eight, the result is 64.3

More dog and less science…

One recent evening during our lights out ritual and as Kloe and I were nose to nose, I realized something I had not thought of before. It dawned on me that with our pups we often see them go from wee little puppy, to adolescent, to adulthood, to senior, to end-of-life. We watch them go through their entire life spanning stages and years. I won’t see this with my human children. Of course I would not want to. No child should pass before their parent. But with our pups, at least for me, it’s different.

Kloe is healthy, runs like a gazelle with her muscular physique on full display, and can chase down and catch a ball like a major league center fielder. Over the coming years I’ll see her continue to age. I’ll see her greying muzzle day-by day turn into a classic “clown face” (I wish there was a better term for that). She’ll begin to slow and eventually the slow will turn to stop. When that time comes I will consider it a blessing and an honor to have been there with my sweet Kloe for the entire and full run of a dog’s life.

Forget the science. Forget the formulaic manner in which to measure arbitrary milestones. One month, one year, one day? How about one life?

And It all began with a pouty face.

2016: Kloe 9 weeks old and first day home

Kloe is Eight! No way…

March 4, 2024

Right side of my brain: “Kloe is eight”.

Left side of my brain: “No way!!”

Right side of my brain: “Yes way! Look it up…”

Wow!

I didn’t have to look it up. It’s true. My puppy, my baby, my sweet sweet Kloe who I now sometimes refer to as ~~Queenie~~ Kweenie, turned eight today.

Left side of my brain: “How the heck did that happen?”

Right side of my brain: “She was born and then the earth circled the sun eight times”.

Left side of my brain: “Shut up Mr. Logical!”

In my heart Kloe is still the nine week old puppy we brought home all those years ago and introduced to Golden Kali who quickly became her “Sissy-Mama”, mentor, and best friend! Kloe helped shape our pack and continues to bring us great joy and happiness. She is our guardian, our protector, and the heart and soul of The Golden K.

Right side of my brain: “But you do know it’s been eight years, right?

Left side of my brain: “Yep! Eight years of love, devotion, and joy!”

Right side of my brain: “I agree. Happy Birthday Kloe!”

Kloe Through The Years

Sorry Kloe!

January 7, 2024

Kloe could have never hung out with the Seven Dwarfs. Mainly because of Sneezy.

Sneezy is one of the seven dwarfs in Disney’s 1937 animated feature film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. As a result of severe hay fever or cold seasons, Sneezy is prone to eruptive, unpredictable, and uncontrollable bouts of sneezing, hence his name.
From the Fandom Disney Wiki, https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/The_Disney_Wiki

Eruptive, unpredictable, and uncontrollable bouts of sneezing do not go over very well with Kloe! When Kloe hears a sneeze she will stop whatever she’s doing, or isn’t doing as the case may be, and run to my side and lean her entire 80 pound body into me all the while staring with her beautiful chestnut colored eyes into mine. But honestly, after 8 years I am still not 100 percent certain if she is there to save me or for me to protect her.

When Kloe was a puppy there was a time when we used a “Pet Protector” to discourage certain behaviors. You know, like not cleaning her room, skipping out on her chores around the house, and not getting homework done on time. Just (obviously) kidding… Unwanted behaviors like jumping up on visitors, digging where she shouldn’t be, etc. The Pet Corrector lets out a loud hissing sound from compressed air in a can. It always got Kloe’s attention and she would immediately cease the unwanted behavior and come running to Holly’s or my side with fear in her eyes. Although the Pet Corrector stopped the unwanted behavior it also scared the poop (not literally) out of Kloe so we didn’t use it very long. I want my pups to behave but not out of fear for their lives!

A sneeze sounds a lot like the Pet Corrector. So for the longest time we thought Kloe was having Pet Corrector flashbacks whenever someone sneezed.

Kloe is a highly sensitive dog. She senses when people are sad or not feeling well. At those times she will go to that person, lean her body into them, and gaze at them with loving, caring, and her aforementioned beautiful chestnut colored eyes.”Feel better, get better”, she seems to plead. We began thinking that Kloe interpreted the sneeze as a sign of illness or distress for the “sneezer” and took it upon herself to care for that person.

But that theory didn’t last very long. We soon realized that if Holly sneezed Kloe would come running to me. Holly would say, “Thanks Kloe; I’m the one in distress but you’re worried about Dad?!” So more recently we are back to thinking that sneezes just scare Kloe whether because of the Pet Corrector days or just because she’s a sissy wimp. 🙂

So these days whenever one of us sneezes we’ll say “sorry Kloe” as she comes running to our side. I even go so far as to run into another room when I feel a sneeze coming on so Kloe won’t hear it. The things we do for our pups, right? Our friends have even become acutely aware that if they sneeze Kloe will react. They too will say, “Sorry Kloe”.

But here is the kicker. Kloe understands the word “sneeze”. If I feel a sneeze coming on – and don’t think I can make it to another room or closet to sneeze – I’ll say, “Sorry Kloe, I think I am going to sneeze.” Kloe will immediately come to my side as if I had already sneezed.

Moral of the story: If you are within earshot of Kloe, avoid Eruptive, unpredictable, and uncontrollable bouts of sneezing at all costs !

Another Year Without Kali

January 2, 2024

New Years Day. A clean slate. A countdown to the next one in 365 days (or 366 as the case in 2024 which is a Leap Year). For the past two years, January 1st marks another year passed since my precious Golden Kali crossed the bridge.

But it’s not a sad day. Although I miss Kali desperately I don’t mourn her passing. I suppose that’s because we had many healthy and happy years together. And, in the end she passed on our collective terms with dignity, grace and in the comfort of our home, The Golden K, which was named for her.

This is the second New Years day without Kali. After two years I feel no less connected to Kali than the day I held her head in my lap as she passed. It’s comforting to me knowing that although she is no longer in the flesh she continues to live vividly in my heart. I can still smell her. I can still feel her soft coat and hear her gentle breathing as she slept by my side and on my feet. In my minds eye I can see the subtle nuance of her gentle personality as she moved about her day which was mostly by my side. I feel her with me now.

There is not a day that I don’t think about Kali. She still “visits” me in my dreams where we hug as we did so often in flesh and blood. In so many ways it’s still just me and Kali. A guy and his dog walking the trail, taking in the early morning sites and smells, sitting and looking off into the distance at nothing in particular. And of course Kali prancing as I prepared her meals.

My forever heart dog!

Happy New Year Kali. Continue to always run free sweetie girl. You will always be omnipresent in my heart, my thoughts, and my life.

The Sigh….

October 23, 2023

At night Kloe and Koda sleep on their mats next to our bed. Kloe usually on Holly’s side and Koda on mine. In the middle of the night, if I’m awake, I listen to their breathing. It’s peaceful and calming to me to hear my girls breathing in cadence as they lay sleeping peacefully and oblivious to any worries or stress.

Even better is “The Sigh”.

Often times, in the dark of night, I will hear Koda stand up and conduct a routine that her species has done for thousands of years: nesting!

From Google in reference to a dogs behavior as they prepare to nest: Dogs in the wild slept on grass, leaves, and various other natural substrates. In order to create a comfortable bed, dogs would scratch and trample down the area with their feet and paws, flattening spiky vegetation and removing rocks and sticks, to create a comfortable bed. This is called nesting, and it likely wasn’t only about comfort.

And that describes Koda: scratching her mat with her paws, sometimes for as long as 15 or 20 seconds. She then circles a few times, and lies down. As she lies down, there is a long and audible sigh. She is quickly fast asleep and her world, and mine in that moment, are peaceful and calm.

Bedtime Preparation

August 27, 2023

Being creatures of habit The Red Girls and I have many rituals and routines. Morning, mid-day, dinner time and bedtime. There are steps, dialogue and processes carried out in much the same way each time. One of those is bedtime preparation.

Bedtime preparation includes letting the girls outside to pee. There is more to this than just the action of peeing… Kloe is usually first out. As soon as she hears the door open she’s on her feet heading out for her nightly patrol of the property in order to”secure the perimeter”. Kloe is the protector of the Golden K and Koda, Holly, and I are lucky enough to be part of her pack. Some nights I have to go back out and look for her usually finding her perched high on the deck performing sentry duties. She’ll reluctantly follow me back in even though she’d prefer to stay on duty.

Koda usually needs some “encouragement” to go out. Typically she’s fast asleep with no interest in peeing or doing anything other than to stay where’s she’s at to slumber the night away. I call to her, “C’mon Koda, get busy!” Get busy is our term for “go pee”. “Come on, Koda. Time for bed. Get up. Go out and get busy”. Usually nothing changes. I try another tact, “Your sissy is outside patrolling. She may need some back up if she finds any intruders”. Koda asleep with thought bubble over her head: “Zzzzzz”. I walk to her and nudge her with my foot. She immediately rolls on her back in a prone position with all legs in the air. I stick my foot under her back; she pretends not to notice. Finally, she will pop up and comply. I’m not a fan of this part of the bedtime prep! And Koda is probably not either.

The girls eventually arrive back at one of the doors and ask to come in (unless I have to go get Kloe). They then retire to their mats set out next to our bed, or if hot, a cool spot on the laminate floor.

As they come in, and in an effort to discourage any lallygagging, I proclaim, “First come first serve. Sometimes just to mess with them I’ll say, “Last come last serve.” My humor is usually lost on them…

Cuddle Time

First come first serve refers to the first one on their mat gets to cuddle with me first. Cuddling usually involves me down on the floor next to them. I’ll pet them softly, hug them with my whole body, and whisper secrets and sweet nothing in their ears. Kloe, wide eyed, stares deeply into my eyes sometimes emitting small grunts to tell me she loves me too. Koda’s squirms a bit and tries to lick my face. In both cases both of them are usually content and glad to be left alone to go to sleep.

In her later years Kali would typically lay in the middle of the room, whether hot or cold, with plenty of space around her.

So now get ready for full disclosure….. Kali and I would spoon.

Me on the outside with her back pushed up against my chest. My arms and sometimes a leg would complete the spooning position and we’d lay there. I warned you – full disclosure! :). Sometimes we’d lay there quietly just breathing, usually in unison. Other times we talked softly to one another. Kali was a great listener! Occasionally I would fall asleep and wake up minutes later or longer, with a smile as I headed to my own bed.

Thinking of this the other day it hit me!

When I lay and cuddle with Kloe and Koda it’s for them. I’m protecting them, my babies. Of course I take great pleasure out of this 1:1 time, but my intentions are for them. To make them feel loved, safe, and protected. With Kali, our cuddle time was for me! Cuddling and spooning with Kali made me feel safe. It made me feel secure. My entire body would relax. If there was any stress in my day it would all seem to dissipate at once. Although I know Kali enjoyed our special time together I now realize that it was her giving to me. Not the other way around. What a gift! Who rescued who, right?

Even though Kali’s been gone for over a year and a half I continue to learn from her. I know our relationship before she crossed the bridge and now is not unique. But, my Golden Kali was about the most special gift one could ever hope for!

Kali in her later years

A Great Big Deal

August 20, 2023

Koda had dental surgery recently. She had a couple of cracked molars that had to be extracted. She’s doing fine and aside from learning how to navigate chewing with less teeth she is back to her regular feisty self.

Koda would be under general anesthesia for the procedure so she couldn’t eat after 8:00 the evening before. No big deal. We are mostly early risers up and about by 6:30 am or so. My normal routine with the girls is to let them outside to take care of “business” and then return inside for breakfast. This means that they are usually eating by around 7:00 am or so.

But on this particular morning of Koda’s surgery she couldn’t eat and she wasn’t due to the vet until 8:30. We decided that Holly would feed Kloe once I left with Koda. No big deal.

And it wasn’t. A big deal that is… When the girls came inside from taking care of business I was at the kitchen table with my cup of coffee and iPad reading and they each laid down next to me and mostly went back to sleep. And then it hit me. If Kali were still with us it would have been a GREAT BIG DEAL!

Kali was an incredibly flexible and easy going dog. She went with flow. She readily adapted to life in America as a five year old rescue from Taiwan. She didn’t miss a beat when we added another puppy (Kloe) to the pack. And then within a few weeks later we moved to the mountains. No big deal for Kali!

When no big deal is A BIG DEAL

But meals for Kali were A BIG DEAL! Until the day she crossed The Bridge meal time was A BIG DEAL. To get an idea of how big a deal it was think of Snoopy from the iconic Charles Shultz creation “Peanuts” singing and dancing to the song “Suppertime“.

Dinner time for the girls is usually around 6:00 pm.

When Kali was with us dinner time was always at 6:00 pm. Also being a creature of habit and routine I was usually sitting in my recliner watching the evening news by 5:00. By 5:15 or so Kali would position herself somewhere between me and the cupboard where her food was stored. She’d lay there ~~looking at me~~ with her eyes laser locked on me. She seemed to use every ounce of her Golden subliminal powers to make me rise from my chair, move to the cupboard, and feed her. She didn’t flinch or seem to move a muscle the entire time. I could feel the heat of her laser locked eyes on my neck but I was always resolved to finish watching the news. On occasion I would dare to look her way and make light of the situation. “I see you Kal” I’d say. “It’s getting close but you know, if you could tell time you’d see it’s not quite six o’clock yet. [chuckle] If you had opposable thumbs you could fix your own dinner. [guffaw] C’mon you can do this. Trust me. I have faith in you.” In spite of my chuckles and occasional guffaws Kali found none of this funny. She would remain motionless and maintain her laser locked stare on my jugular. The only thing that seemed to change was the intensity of the laser energy she was preparing to launch my way in order to get my butt out of my chair. But Kali was smart. She also knew that if the laser was too intense it could knock me out or worse. Then she’d really be up a creek without a food bowl! So she would then ratchet the power down to stun…

Six O’clock would eventually arrive and I would announce: “The time has come!” This proclamation would break the trance Kali had worked herself into. She would stand and begin her dance; the twirls, the head nods, and the tap tap taping of her nails on the kitchen floor. (See Suppertime above)

This is how meal time was with Kali. Breakfast wasn’t much different except the wait time was shorter but the expectations just as high.

So on the morning of Koda’s procedure, as I sat there with my coffee and the two unfed Red Girls by my side, I thought of Kali. My sweet princess. My “heart dog”. My easy-going, take-it-how-it-comes-girl. My whatever-works-for-you-works-for-me-sweet-angel.

And I chuckled and thought to myself: If Kali was here this would be A GREAT BIG DEAL!

Golden Kali

Posts tagged with Golden Retreiver