Three years since Kali crossed the bridge

December 30, 2024

It’s been three years since Kali crossed the bridge.

It was the afternoon of January 1, 2022 when our vet and dear friend Tanya came to our home to administer to Kali and help us send her over the bridge with her angel wings. It was a very peaceful transition for Kali who was never in any pain as far as we could tell. But at about 12 or 13 years old her tank was empty, her legs were wobbly, her eyes were clouded, and at times she seemed confused. I will always treasure the memory of Kali laying down with her head in my hands as she took her last breath with Holly and Tanya sitting next to me and Kali on the carpeted floor.

As this third anniversary comes and goes, like every other day since, I will harken the imagery and fond memories I have of Kali. Her story has been told here in this blog since the day after she arrived from Taiwan – May 24, 2014.

The evolving tag line of this blog also chronicles major milestones in our life with Kali:

Originally the tagline was “Kali’s New Life in America”.
Then it became “Kali’s New Life In The Mountains” when we moved to the Sierra Nevada Foothills with Kali, and also with 9 week old Kloe.
When Kali crossed the bridge the tagline became, “Life At Th Golden K Without Kali”
And most recently it is “Life With The Red Girls“

From the moment we picked Kali up at SFO until the moment of her last breath Kali was easy going, did everything I asked of her, and was through mutual choice, always by my side. She was not destructive; she never chewed a shoe or furniture. She never had “accidents”, and always greeted visitors with a smile and wagging tail.

Besides being my ‘heart dog”, Kali was my friend. She was my confidant and knew my deepest secrets and fears. She calmed me with her presence and was always patient with me. Except at meal time! With Kali, all bets were off when it came to meal time. Meal time was her favorite time of the day, every day until the day she passed. Meal time was not negotiable with Kali. She fired laser beams from her eyes to my heart when meals weren’t prepared on time; or at the time she felt was THE time. When it came to food Kali did not have a sense of humor. “Feed me, feed me, feed me” she would chant until the bowl full of delicious was place under her nose.

The mythical Rainbow Bridge has various origins. One of the more popular origins is the “The Rainbow Bridge Poem” by an unknown author. I’ve always appreciated the concept and imagery of a place where pets go after they die. A place where they are restored to good health and run and play in the sun while they wait for us, their beloved pet parents, to join them. The last two paragraphs of that poem bring me peace when I think of my Golden Kali.

[The pets] “all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent. Her eager body quivers. Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

Golden Kali lounging in her domain and name sake, The Golden K

The Wild Child Turns Six

June 2, 2024

Koda. Fittingly named The Wild Child several years ago by a dear friend who has had many many Goldens in her life. The nick name has been spot on!

When you Google the word tenacity you get pictures of Koda. When you say, “Hey Koda, you wanna fight?” she’s already in your face bellowing her trademark “Roo, Roo, Roo”. Koda is a tough cookie who doesn’t back down.

Koda joined our pack in September of 2018 as a four month-old puppy. She weighed 22 pounds. but, as I learned, in her mind she was much bigger. It only took her a couple of hours to figure out she could boss Kloe around. Kloe, two years old and around 80 pounds at the time at first went easy on Koda. She recognized her size advantage and instinctively knew not to go at full strength. While an indifferent Kali sauntered off to sleep in the sun, Kloe and Koda began to get acquainted. There were puppy poses all around and then they were off to the races playing chase. Koda’s confidence ~~grew~~ was immediately evident and enthusiastic wrestling ensued. Kloe continued to acquiesce to the size differential. But when the little whipper snapper refused to back down – as most puppies with a 60 pound disadvantage would do – Kloe decided it was time to school her new baby sister. Boom – take down for Kloe! Koda went rolling over a few times from the take down. That should do it, right? Nope. “Nice try Kloe”, Koda seemed to say as she got off her back. She shook off the dust and immediately initiated more rough play. And so it went for the day and weeks to follow. And to a large degree still does albeit at a much more reasonable level.

To say that time has flown is a trite and overused term to express surprise at the passing of so much time. So instead I will say that the earth must be spinning faster. How could our little puppy Wild Child be turning six? I would love to say that over these past six years the “wild and child” have evolved into “calm and mature”. [The author shakes his head and mouths the word “Nope!”] OK well maybe a little bit…

Over the years Koda has matured and ~~follows~~ understands the rules and what is expected. But she is the stereotypical third child:

Child #1 (Kali): I follow the rules
Child #2 (Kloe): I’m the reason for the rules
Child #3 (Koda): The rules don’t apply to me

The Good and not so good of Koda:

The not so good; the sneaky thief: A few weeks after joining the pack Koda stole half of a hamburger bun off my plate when we were prepping dinner. I realized it was missing as she was circling the table planning another sneak attach. But wait it gets better. A week or two later I enter the kitchen to see Koda on top of the table foraging for non-existent food! Wow! Probably looking for the other half of the bun…
The very good; loyal to all ends: Koda was around two when Holly and I went out for a few hours. As was the routine when we left during the day the girls – Kali, Kloe, and Koda – were left out on the deck with access to a big chain link fenced area of the property we call “the pen”. When we arrived back home Kloe greets us and and Koda comes running up from the pen barking emphatically and looking back at the pen. She insists we follow her to the pen. When we get there we see Kali stuck in a hole unable to get up due to her bad legs. Although I can’t say for sure I am convinced that Koda stayed by Kali’s side until she heard us pull up and came a running to tell us Kali needed help.

Although Kloe is the pack protector Koda is Kloe’s wingman always providing back up. Even if she doesn’t know what Kloe is barking at or running towards Koda is by her side ready to rumble. I am convinced, and I hope I never have to find out, that if Kloe was physically threatened by another animal Koda would step in front and be the first to fight.

Now at six, most of the tenacious and challenging qualities in Koda still exist but they are tempered. To be fair she has matured. She is a good girl, and if I’m honest, I’m glad she remains a wild child and still has the spirit and energy of a puppy under many circumstances. I’m glad because those qualities make Koda who she is. I used to hope she would change. Once I realized I needed to change and adapt she and I grew much closer. Another lesson learned from one of the four legged pack members!

So, happy sixth birthday to this crazy, loyal, and dedicated wild child Red Girl of mine.

Kloe greeting the Wild Child Koda for the first timer.

The Wild Child all grown up

Memorial Day Weekend 10

May 28, 2024

Why is this Memorial Day Weekend Ten? Because ten years ago on this weekend in 2014 Kali ~~joined~~ started our pack.

Long time followers of The Golden Kali Blog know the story and history of how this special dog changed my life. How she flew from Taiwan with 23 other Golden Retrievers arriving at SFO via China Airlines flight 004 on Saturday evening, May 24th 2014. Those who don’t can read how it started here.

Kali crossed the Bridge on January 1, 2022. But this weekend will always be our special weekend. The weekend when both of our lives changed for the better and forever. For seven and half years Kali was never far from my side physically. Although gone physically Kali remains omnipresent in my life.

The tag lines over the years tell a lot. Initially it was “Kali’s New Life In America”. Then when we moved to the Sierra Nevada Foothills it became “Kali’s New Life In The Mountains“. When she crossed the bridge the tag line became, “Life Without Kali”. And more recently, “Life With The Red Girls“. But don’t let the last tag line fool you. This blog is and will always be about Kali. The influences she had not just on me but on the Red Girls – Kloe and Koda – to whom she was be best “sissy-mama” a puppy could have.

So after ten years – ten Memorial Days – what more can be said? Well, just that it will always be our day – Kali’s and mine. The day the rest of our lives together began.

Kali and I about a week after she arrived from Taiwan, stole my heart, and changed my life.

Another Year Without Kali

January 2, 2024

New Years Day. A clean slate. A countdown to the next one in 365 days (or 366 as the case in 2024 which is a Leap Year). For the past two years, January 1st marks another year passed since my precious Golden Kali crossed the bridge.

But it’s not a sad day. Although I miss Kali desperately I don’t mourn her passing. I suppose that’s because we had many healthy and happy years together. And, in the end she passed on our collective terms with dignity, grace and in the comfort of our home, The Golden K, which was named for her.

This is the second New Years day without Kali. After two years I feel no less connected to Kali than the day I held her head in my lap as she passed. It’s comforting to me knowing that although she is no longer in the flesh she continues to live vividly in my heart. I can still smell her. I can still feel her soft coat and hear her gentle breathing as she slept by my side and on my feet. In my minds eye I can see the subtle nuance of her gentle personality as she moved about her day which was mostly by my side. I feel her with me now.

There is not a day that I don’t think about Kali. She still “visits” me in my dreams where we hug as we did so often in flesh and blood. In so many ways it’s still just me and Kali. A guy and his dog walking the trail, taking in the early morning sites and smells, sitting and looking off into the distance at nothing in particular. And of course Kali prancing as I prepared her meals.

My forever heart dog!

Happy New Year Kali. Continue to always run free sweetie girl. You will always be omnipresent in my heart, my thoughts, and my life.

The Sigh….

October 23, 2023

At night Kloe and Koda sleep on their mats next to our bed. Kloe usually on Holly’s side and Koda on mine. In the middle of the night, if I’m awake, I listen to their breathing. It’s peaceful and calming to me to hear my girls breathing in cadence as they lay sleeping peacefully and oblivious to any worries or stress.

Even better is “The Sigh”.

Often times, in the dark of night, I will hear Koda stand up and conduct a routine that her species has done for thousands of years: nesting!

From Google in reference to a dogs behavior as they prepare to nest: Dogs in the wild slept on grass, leaves, and various other natural substrates. In order to create a comfortable bed, dogs would scratch and trample down the area with their feet and paws, flattening spiky vegetation and removing rocks and sticks, to create a comfortable bed. This is called nesting, and it likely wasn’t only about comfort.

And that describes Koda: scratching her mat with her paws, sometimes for as long as 15 or 20 seconds. She then circles a few times, and lies down. As she lies down, there is a long and audible sigh. She is quickly fast asleep and her world, and mine in that moment, are peaceful and calm.

Bedtime Preparation

August 27, 2023

Being creatures of habit The Red Girls and I have many rituals and routines. Morning, mid-day, dinner time and bedtime. There are steps, dialogue and processes carried out in much the same way each time. One of those is bedtime preparation.

Bedtime preparation includes letting the girls outside to pee. There is more to this than just the action of peeing… Kloe is usually first out. As soon as she hears the door open she’s on her feet heading out for her nightly patrol of the property in order to”secure the perimeter”. Kloe is the protector of the Golden K and Koda, Holly, and I are lucky enough to be part of her pack. Some nights I have to go back out and look for her usually finding her perched high on the deck performing sentry duties. She’ll reluctantly follow me back in even though she’d prefer to stay on duty.

Koda usually needs some “encouragement” to go out. Typically she’s fast asleep with no interest in peeing or doing anything other than to stay where’s she’s at to slumber the night away. I call to her, “C’mon Koda, get busy!” Get busy is our term for “go pee”. “Come on, Koda. Time for bed. Get up. Go out and get busy”. Usually nothing changes. I try another tact, “Your sissy is outside patrolling. She may need some back up if she finds any intruders”. Koda asleep with thought bubble over her head: “Zzzzzz”. I walk to her and nudge her with my foot. She immediately rolls on her back in a prone position with all legs in the air. I stick my foot under her back; she pretends not to notice. Finally, she will pop up and comply. I’m not a fan of this part of the bedtime prep! And Koda is probably not either.

The girls eventually arrive back at one of the doors and ask to come in (unless I have to go get Kloe). They then retire to their mats set out next to our bed, or if hot, a cool spot on the laminate floor.

As they come in, and in an effort to discourage any lallygagging, I proclaim, “First come first serve. Sometimes just to mess with them I’ll say, “Last come last serve.” My humor is usually lost on them…

Cuddle Time

First come first serve refers to the first one on their mat gets to cuddle with me first. Cuddling usually involves me down on the floor next to them. I’ll pet them softly, hug them with my whole body, and whisper secrets and sweet nothing in their ears. Kloe, wide eyed, stares deeply into my eyes sometimes emitting small grunts to tell me she loves me too. Koda’s squirms a bit and tries to lick my face. In both cases both of them are usually content and glad to be left alone to go to sleep.

In her later years Kali would typically lay in the middle of the room, whether hot or cold, with plenty of space around her.

So now get ready for full disclosure….. Kali and I would spoon.

Me on the outside with her back pushed up against my chest. My arms and sometimes a leg would complete the spooning position and we’d lay there. I warned you – full disclosure! :). Sometimes we’d lay there quietly just breathing, usually in unison. Other times we talked softly to one another. Kali was a great listener! Occasionally I would fall asleep and wake up minutes later or longer, with a smile as I headed to my own bed.

Thinking of this the other day it hit me!

When I lay and cuddle with Kloe and Koda it’s for them. I’m protecting them, my babies. Of course I take great pleasure out of this 1:1 time, but my intentions are for them. To make them feel loved, safe, and protected. With Kali, our cuddle time was for me! Cuddling and spooning with Kali made me feel safe. It made me feel secure. My entire body would relax. If there was any stress in my day it would all seem to dissipate at once. Although I know Kali enjoyed our special time together I now realize that it was her giving to me. Not the other way around. What a gift! Who rescued who, right?

Even though Kali’s been gone for over a year and a half I continue to learn from her. I know our relationship before she crossed the bridge and now is not unique. But, my Golden Kali was about the most special gift one could ever hope for!

Kali in her later years

IQ versus EQ

August 7, 2023

A lot has been written about IQ – “intelligence quotient” and EQ – “emotional quotient”. A quick Google search and review of various website definitions boils down to this:

IQ tests measure your ability to solve problems, use logic, and grasp or communicate complex ideas. EQ tests measure your ability to recognize emotion in yourself and others, and to use that awareness to guide your decisions
https://www.healthline.com/health/eq-vs-iq#bottom-line

This is of course referencing IQ and EQ for humans. But what about dogs? Do dogs have a similar set of measurements. Can IQ and EQ be applied to dogs when assessing their strengths and tendencies? I think they do. This is not a scientific blog. It’s a blog about dogs. So I am not going to try to corroborate my opinion with anything other than my experiences with my own dogs.

I’ll start with Koda, my five year old. I believe she has a very high iQ. She is the most intelligent dog I’ve had. She is good at problem solving, she is an effective verbal communicator, and attentively listens for direction understanding the words I say and actions I ask her take. I can see it in her eyes when I speak to her. She processes the information and in parallel formulates a response. If she disagrees she lets me know.

Kloe’s strength is her EQ. My non-expert opinion is that Kloe would have made a very good service dog. We considered that for a time when she was younger but for various reasons never pursued it. Kloe can read the room and know when someone is upset or not feeling well. She will gravitate to that person, if she is able, and sit next to them and lean in or lay at their feet. When a visitor comes to the house Kloe is instantly in love. With a wildly wagging tail, she attempts to sit at our visitor’s side as they enter our home. She groans in pleasure and stares up a their eyes. And all the while Koda is jumping and barking (much to our chagrin) as she competes with Kloe for our visitor’s attention. We scold Koda and say, “Down!” Kloe immediately goes to a down position in an attempt to defuse the ~~craziness~~ situation.

I know these are very common behaviors and tendencies with most dogs. My point is that in my girls I see similar distinctions as it relates to IQ versus EQ.

All this is not say that Koda doesn’t have compassion or that Kloe is dumb. Not in the least. If Kloe senses a threat – real or otherwise – to one of us or our property she goes into protect mode as the Guardian Of The Golden K. Kloe will begin barking and patrolling. Koda often will try to see what Kloe sees (sometimes nothing) and look back at me as if to say, “Dad, I don’t see anything. Tell me what to do”.

Kloe feels. Koda thinks.

Maybe this is what makes these two a good team. Long time followers of the Golden Kali blog may be thinking, “What about Kali? Where does she fall on the question of IQ versus EQ?

That’s fair and good question. As I’ve been writing this I have also asked myself that question. The same long time followers know my bias and how special Kali was, and remains, to me. So I will answer that question like this:

Kali transcends the question of IQ versus EQ. She thinks on a different level than most humans and canines. Kali played 4 dimensional chess in her sleep. Kali could levitate. Kali was a Jedi Master of Dogs and I was fortunate to be her Padawan ( A Jedi’s apprentice). Kali’s Midi-chlorian counts were the highest ever recorded in a dog. [Sorry – did I jump the shark with that last reference to Star Wars?]

The Very Special Scarf

July 4, 2023

It was 9:00 PM on Saturday May 24, 2014 when we rolled the large travel crate out of the arrival terminal at San Francisco International Airport. I had been waiting anxiously for this evening for almost two months. We rolled the crate into an elevator and found our way to the outdoor parking lot for a few last minute details before taking Kali home to Livermore. This was the beginning of a life changing event not only for me for me but also for Kali who had traveled all the way from Taiwan and into my arms. Her life became mine, and mine became hers. Neither of us would ever be the same! New readers can learn more about the origins of Golden Kali here.

As we were preparing to drive home to Livermore a volunteer from the local rescue group, True Love Rescue, placed a scarf around Kali’s neck. The scarf was red, white, and blue with patterns of stars and stripes. A fitting symbol for Kali now that she was an American Girl. The scarf became an immediate and special symbol of Kali’s journey, and of her emerging life in America.

That was Memorial weekend 2014. Kali wore the scarf for the rest of the weekend until I took it off and tied it onto her crate. She wore it again on Fourth of July and then it went into a drawer. Kali and I are big fans of tradition, Since that first Fourth Of July together, and for the past nine years, I only take the scarf out on Fourth of July for Kali to wear for the day.

Except Kali is not with us anymore. This is the second “4th” since Kali crossed the bridge. So like last year, and for hopefully many more years to come, her “little” sister Kloe will “carry the torch” and carry on the tradition of wearing the Very Special Scarf,. But only on the Fourth Of July.

Kali (left) July 4, 2019. Kloe (right) July 4, 2023

Kali – The Golden K Anchor

February 12, 2023

Kali crossed the bridge over a year ago and there is not a day that ends where I haven’t thought about her at least once. I find myself day dreaming about her. At night she is often in my dreams. Her name comes off my lips at times when I am speaking to one of her sissies. Sometimes I call out to her for no reason in particular other than to beckon her sweet spirit. And I will speak softly to her when I see a picture of her on my computer or in a photo frame.

I miss her desperately. Not in a deliberating way, or even in a sad way. But in a way that stops me in my tracks and takes my breath away as I realize what an incredible relationship we had and what a very special dog Kali was. Her history is storied having been rescued in Taiwan and flying across the world into our arms in the SF Bay Area. Two years later we moved to the Sierra Nevada Foothills and she was an instant local. Nothing ever phased her. She adapted within minutes to any new environment or situation. And like a true Golden she loved all people almost as much as she loved food. 🙂

Recently a picture came up in my Facebook Memories. A photo from four years ago. In the photo Kali, Kloe, Koda, and Holly were all lying on the floor sleeping. Everyone was tired from a day of playing off and on in the snow. What struck me about this photo was that as they slept on the floor Kloe, Koda, and Holly each had their heads resting against Kali. She was our anchor. She was our energy. She was our heartbeat. Kali was and remains the pulse of The Golden K!

Kali, anchoring a power nap after a day in the snow. February 5, 2019

Kloe The Lover (not a fighter)

January 8, 2023

Kali was the first and oldest. She had a storied history long before Kloe joined the pack. Kloe always looked up to Kali and considered Kali the alpha until the day Kali crossed the bridge. Koda, the youngest, has always been ~~a loud mouth~~ gregarious. From the day she joined the pack at 4 months old, Koda demanded vocally and physically the attention of everyone in the room and general vicinity. So with Koda, Kloe usually has no choice but to play second banana. And I think for the most part that’s ok with Kloe.

Kloe The Puppy

Kloe was 7 weeks old when we met her and her litter mates. There was “Green”, “Purple”, and “Red” as designated by the color of their ribbon collars. We sat on the lawn in the yard of the rescue group’s organizer watching the puppies romp around. We picked them up, sat them on our laps, and interacted with them in our effort to see which one would be right for us. OK, full disclosure: I laid on the grass and ~~let them~~ encouraged the puppies to crawl on top of me and smother me with golden love!

After about an hour we decided that “Red” was the one for us. We liked her her confidence and calm demeanor. At only seven weeks she seemed interested in more than just her siblings and these new human visitors as we observed her looking beyond her immediate surroundings with a serious and quizzical look. And, she had a little pouty face that I fell in love with! We decided Red’s name would be Kloe. Two weeks later we went back to pick her up and bring her home. That was almost seven years ago.

Kloe The Lover

There is a saying, “I’m a lover (not a fighter). That’s Kloe!

Approaching seven years this Spring, Kloe has been a full fledged Golden Retriever adult dog for over three years. She has always been rather serious and never displayed some of the goofy and silly attributes that make many Goldens so fun and entertaining. That’s not to say Kloe doesn’t have fun. It’s just she approaches things with purpose. Whether it’s catching a ball, engaging in play with her sister Koda, or mealtime. Kloe is also very earnest; especially when meeting new people. She tries her best not to get too excited as we remind her not to jump). She’ll place herself in a sit at her new friend’s side looking up at them the entire time while her tail wags excitedly. She lets out deep groans as if to say “I just met you but I love you so much!”

Kloe Our Protector

Kloe, even as a 6 month old puppy, has always had a very deep bark. As docile as she is Kloe’s bark is a force to be reckoned with. If Koda’s high pitched bark is the “alarm” then Kloe’s bark is the ancient battle horn calling the troops into formation and ready to charge! The alarm sounds, the battle horn blows, and she is off to defend the Golden K with little sister Koda along side as her squire. Kloe typically starts out her day by smelling most of the front and back areas of our home along the fence lines. She methodically, much to the chagrin of her less interested sister, inspects every inch assessing what critter may have been there the night before. When she finally arrives back at the kitchen door for her breakfast meal I sarcastically ask her if the perimeter is secure and she ~~nods affirmatively~~ looks up at me expressionless and sits and waits for breakfast.

Kloe Our Conscience

When I look at Kloe I see honesty. I see compassion. I see a peace maker. Sure, these are human traits but why not also true for dogs? Kloe’s eyes tell the truth. Her body language adapts to the people around her. And when confronted with the choice to share or fight for what is hers (a ball, a bone, or a stick) she will usually acquiesce to the perpetrator (Koda). Admittedly I’d prefer to see her stand up for herself more but that’s Kloe; always willing to stand down to keep the peace.

Because remember, she’s a lover (not a fighter).