Life Without Kali

January 4, 2022

And then there were two…..

In the end it was not as hard a decision to make as I thought it would be. Not easy, but not hard because it was the right thing to do. This past Saturday my sweet Golden Kali took her final breath as she lay next to Holly and I in our home. It was very peaceful and she left this world with dignity and grace.

I’ve been preparing for this moment for quite some time as I’ve watched Kali age rapidly over the past year.

Kali had begun slowing down significantly over the past year with decreasing mobility. It was mostly her rear legs and hips. She started having problems getting up and down and staying on her feet several months ago. When she did get up she would often times fall. Cataracts clouded her eyes and the poor vision often left her confused as to her where-abouts. Her appetite did remain strong and she enjoyed being with me on the days I worked from home. But more recently she seemed confused and while in no visible pain, she was uncomfortable and restless when she wasn’t sleeping.

After a nudge from a dear friend, and deep soul searching and discussion the day after Christmas with Holly, I decided to follow the advice I have given so many other dog owners when I hear of a situation with their senior dog. And that is, “one of the last and greatest gifts we give our dogs is to take them out of their pain and let them go”. While I don’t believe Kali was in any real pain her tank was empty and her eyes told me it was time to let her go. So I did.

This past Saturday, New Years Day 2022, our vet Tanya, who has become as much a friend as she is the vet for our three girls, came to our home to administer to Kali. Tanya, Holly, and I sat with Kali who was very relaxed as the three of us just chatted and loved on her. Tanya administered a sedative and we continued to just be with Kali as she got sleepy. I whispered a lot of sweet nothings in her ear. So pretty much business as usual in that regard. 🙂 Eventually Tanya gave Kali the injection that put Kali down. I watched her eyes close and felt her take her final breath. As Kali left I harkened our Creek Trail in Livermore where we got to know each other so well in the days and weeks after she arrived from Taiwan. Kali left this world on our collective terms and I am so grateful for that. I know other dogs and doggie parents don’t always have that grace.

It’s hard to believe that Kali is gone. I think things may set in and maybe I’ll have a few moments in the days to come. But for now, like Kali, I am at peace.

Footnote: The Golden Kali Blog was started on May 25th, 2014 the day after Kali arrived from Taiwan. The tag line of this blog at that time was “Kali’s New Life In America”. Two years later we moved to the Sierra Nevada Foothills and the tag line changed to “Kali’s New Life In The Mountains”. The Golden Kali Blog will live on and the tag line, at least for the coming weeks and months, will now be “Life At The Golden K Without Kali”. * The Golden K is what we call our home as a tribute originally to Kali herself and now to her and her two sisters Kloe and Koda.

Kloeville

June 25, 2020

There a place that Kloe goes that we call Kloeville. Actually it is not really a place but a state of mind. Or a moment in time. It might even be considered a spiritual or out of body experience. Kloe won’t say so these are my assumptions from observing her when she’s in Kloeville; her special place.

She lays on her back, back legs spread, front legs limp with paws dangling. Sometimes there’s a ball in her mouth and sometimes her lips are just curled up in a smile. Her eyes don’t fixate on anyone thing but they are open and alert looking mostly up. Her body is relaxed and it seems that her spirit is too.

Kloe is gentle soul with a gentle demeanor. I am convinced that her body, at almost 80 pounds – and larger than average for a female of her breed – is so big in order to house her giant heart of gold. And her large head is to hold all the wisdom she could share if she could speak. Instead her actions do the talking for her…

Often as I go about my day I’ll walk into a room, or when I’m sitting in a chair or at the kitchen table I’ll look over and see Kloe in Kloeville. And it makes me happy. It also makes me a little envious that my own version of Kloeville is not as defined and refined as hers. Even if it was I’m not sure I could ~~go to it~~ achieve it as often or as easily as Kloe does.

I think there is a lot I can learn from Kloe!

KLOEVILLE!

Grateful This Christmas Eve

December 25, 2019

A Christmas Eve walk with Kloe this morning put this particular holiday season in perspective for me. It was a brisk forty five degrees as we headed out at about 8:30 am. The morning was calm with no wind, the tall pine trees at the Golden K were still, the sky was grey but dry, and the neighborhood was quiet.

As Kloe and I headed out I was grateful that we had nowhere in particular to go and all day to get there. Quite a difference from the days when my children were small and there were so many tasks to complete in time for the “big day”. All those tasks parents like us were fortunate to be able to undertake to make that big day special for our children. They were great times that I will cherish forever. But I have to admit this morning as we headed out to walk I was grateful that those days were in the past and Kloe and I were in the present.

This has been quite a year for my special girl Kloe. It was April when she was diagnosed with a torn CCL. For over seven months we nursed her back to health. In that time she tore the other CCL, had double CCL surgery (bi-lateral TPLO), and then convalesced back to so far what seems to be a full recovery. During that period much of our life was consumed with caring for (and worrying about!) Kloe. Her injuries had a major impact on our lives as well as her two sisters who often took a back seat to Kloe’s needs; especially puppy Koda who just wanted to play with big-sissie but could not because Kloe was at zero activity level.

So as we walked in the crisp air I reflected on how grateful I am for Kloe’s recovery. Grateful for having the flexibility and resources to dedicate much of our time over the past months to ensure the best chance for her recovery. Grateful that she is now pain free, can run and jump without restrictions, can wrestle with puppy Kloe and just be a dog again. But mostly I am grateful that Kloe came into our lives as a nine week old pup three and half years ago and changed our lives for the better and for ever.

Kloe and I stopped along the seasonal creek to take a quick photo and memorialize this special walk.

Christmas Eve morning 2019

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Spring Break

March 24, 2019

The Golden K finally got a few days of dry warmish weather last week. The red clay ~~dirt~~ mud finally starting drying out from weeks of being covered with snow followed by a lot of rain. The girls were mostly house bound for much of the past two months because of it and were in bad need of a Spring Break.

When there was fresh snow on the ground it was not so bad because they could play in the snow and come back to the house and only be wet. When the snow starts melting or it rains much of the girls Golden K playground becomes red mud and that’s a whole different deal when it comes to in and out privileges. Towels were regularly piled up around the doors leading outside for much of these past two months so that upon re-entry we could at a minimum clean the girls’ paws off. Sometimes it required a major wiping down or trip to the bath. So the dry sunny days were a welcome sight that I think even the girls appreciated. After all laying in dirt is better than laying mud, right? Even for a pup?…

So as Koda and Kloe lay in the dry dirt I snapped (clicked) a photo and they appeared to scowl at the camera (phone) as if to say, “We don’t know how long this spring-like weather will last. Please put the phone away and throw these balls for us”. And so I did.

Two dogs, two balls, nowhere to go, and all day to get there. After two months of snow and rain it doesn’t get better than that.

Scowl, scowl, scowl!

The Story of a man who had never seen a dog

September 9, 2018

It’s always great fun when Smokey visits. Smokey is my daughter’s seven year old Morkie: half Maltese and half Yorkshire Terrier. He weighs 11 pounds.

Smokey met Kloe the first time after we moved to the mountains. Kloe was just a few months old but already four or five times the size of Smokey. Upon introduction Kloe became instantly enamored with Smokey. With puppy-pose in full force Kloe invited Smokey to run, play, wrestle and good old fashioned tug-o-war. Smokey played it cool, gave Kloe a sniff, and sauntered over to some bushes to leave some pee-mail.

Throughout that weekend Kloe would follow Smokey wherever he went. Kloe would initiate play, Smokey would give her some sniffs and a lick on the face, and then move along his way. When Smokey would jump on the couch to settle in for a nap Kloe would lay on the floor and stare at him. When Smokey went outside to do his business Kloe would follow in his tracks. Occasionally Smokey grew weary of Kloe’s attention and gave a snarl telling Kloe to back off. Kloe respected that and gave him his space. It was good that Smokey, this little miniature Ewok, established some ground rules for Kloe who is always eager and totally unaware of the size difference.

Fast forward a couple of years and things haven’t changed much. Kloe remains enamored with Smokey who is still just 11 pounds and still holds his own navigating in and around Kloe’s 80 pounds of energy and constant motion. Upon arriving for a visit the two of them greet one another with enthusiasm, some “kissy face” and both seem to enjoy the familiarity with one another

The Story of a man who had never seen a dog

A man had never seen a dog before arrived at our house a couple of weekends ago when Smokey was up for a visit This man thought Kloe and Smokey were two different species. The man said, “which one is the dog? And if one is a dog what is that other creature?” When I told him they were both dogs the man responded, “That can’t be true! One is barely 10 pounds, not much bigger than a squirrel, and looks like a fur ball in the wind. The other is 10 times that size, looks like a pony, and runs swiftly like a gazelle. No this can’t be so. They cannot both be dogs.” The man was puzzled and interested in understanding how these two creatures could both be dogs.

I explained how dogs come in many different sizes, have varied physical attributes, and come from many different walks of life. I told him that dogs have a wide variety of backgrounds, experiences, and qualities. I explained that although some dogs have been bred for specific purposes like hunting, or herding, or mousing they are all still dogs. I went on to say that in spite of these different qualities and experiences, and having come from all around the world, they are still all just dogs. Dogs who recognize each other as dogs. Not as a different breed. Not as a lesser or more superior beast. But as equals with a set of universal codes of communication, respect, and an natural ability to get along and co-exist in peace.

The man seemed less puzzled now and began to understand what I was saying. The man said, “So what you’ve told me is a lesson for dogs?”.

I said no, “What I told you is a lesson for men”.

*****

Smokey arriving for a visit

Smokey: “I knew I should have napped on the couch”

Kloe, Smokey, and Kali

“Uncle” Smokey letting Kloe know who’s boss

Kloe’s head is as big as Smokey

Nature versus Nurture

March 25, 2018

Its that nature versus nurture discussion. Is Kali who she is because of her genes or past experiences?

Snow Day At The Golden K

February 25, 2018

Finally, a snow day with the girls.

Two Years This Weekend

May 30, 2016

Wow – it’s been two years this Memorial weekend that we welcomed Kali to our family with open arms on the Saturday evening of Memorial Day Weekend 2014 We picked up Kali from SFO and drove off into the night to Livemore where she has given us unconditional love and shaped our lives. And for the past three weeks she’s also having a positive and loving impact on the life of her little sister Kloe who joined the pack three weeks ago. Kali has been a wonderful big sister and we are thrilled to see a deep bond developing between Kali and Kloe.

This Memorial Day weekend is a little busier than two years ago. On Friday the moving company loaded 23 years of Livemore into trucks and took it to our new home in the Sierra Nevada Foothills that we call “The Golden K”.

Although we’re quite busy getting unpacked and settled into our new home I had to take a moment to write this brief post to note this anniversary weekend and reflect on how much our Golden Kali has meant to our family. We especially want to thank the volunteers at True Love Dog Rescue here in California and in the volunteers in Taiwan who work tirelessly to save dogs like Kali and bring them to loving homes in the U.S.

Kali watching carefully to make sure her food bin gets unloaded

Enjoying life at the Golden K

Our drive way leading up to The Golden K

Kloe: a sneak peek

May 1, 2016

As mentioned a few posts ago the tag line of this Golden Kali blog has changed to “Kali’s New Life In The Mountains“. It used to be “Kali’s New Life In America” but it’s been almost two years since she arrived and we are now off to new adventures in the Sierra Foothills.

Kali will have a new companion beginning next week. Her name is Kloe and she is an eight week old Golden Retriever.

So while this post provides a sneak peek to the new pup who joins our pack next week, it’s mostly about why Holly and I feel compelled to bring more ~~craziness~~ love into our lives. Especially during a time of significant transition.

(BTW Kloe is pronounced Chloe but spelled with a K because well, because of Kali… makes sense, right?…)

My sister Victoria and I came out of the same womb, had the same parents and same wonderful childhoods growing up in Suburbia USA. But we couldn’t be more different in so many ways… Last week I called Vicki to update her on our move and tell her we were getting a new pup. My sister is only four years older than me but at times we seem a generation apart. She ~~scolds me~~ gives me “motherly” advice and has a hard time understanding or relating to many of the life choices Holly and I make; like moving to the mountains…

So when I told her about Kloe she didn’t offer congratulations but she did offer many cautions and some of the aformentioned motherly advice. Vicki says, “Michael, puppies are a lot of work. Do you really know what you’re getting into? That puppy is going to pee all over your new house”. I was a little hurt but not surprised. I love my sister and as we’ve aged I’ve come to see her as the beautiful loving person she is. She married late, never had children, and has always been a loving aunt to my kids. She is also a sincere animal lover donating time and money to various animal causes. Maybe in this case just not a lover of animals who may make her brother’s life hectic and dirty his house… 🙂 She is compelled after almost 60 years to take care of me and I love her for that.

This morning I received an email from Vicki apologizing for “being a downer” when I told her about the puppy. The email was an appreciated but not necessary gesture. After all we’re siblings so why start apologizing now! As I went to delete the email I paused and decided to respond. This is what I wrote:

Vicki – Thanks for your email. No apology necessary. Crazy how life works sometimes….

Why do many people have kids? They’re a lot of work, heartache at times, and cost a lot of money. They break things, make messes, and demand your attention when you’re too tired to even think let alone play a game or throw a ball. Yet we have them, mostly on purpose, and once our children are born we have no regrets. Why? Because kids are unconditional love, they’re innocent (at least for a while), they’re fun, they keep us young at heart, they make us feel secure and make us feel complete. Children complete the family unit and sometimes the more the better.

I think for me this is why, especially now that the kids are grown, we have dogs. All the same rationale above about children apply.

Crazy huh?…

– Love, Michael

I’ve never thought about having a dog in these terms before. At least not consciously. But this morning at 7:00 am as I read my sister’s message on my iPhone with Kali lying by my side it was perfectly clear and I felt compelled to reply. Although Vicki had no children family has always been paramount to her and she will understand and agree with my rationale and emotions. She may not even care if Kloe has an “accident” when I bring her over to visit.

Kloe, sitting with the red collar

Kloe and her sisters. I wish we could bring home the Trio!

Just Another Day

January 1, 2016

Sing out the old, bring in the new. Should auld acquaintance be forgot and auld lang syne! Whatever…

Even as a young adult I never enjoyed New Years Eve.

I never liked the pressure and expectation I felt of having to stay up late and have fun “ringing” in the new year. During the early years of our marriage our friends would urge us to come out for New Years and have fun. We usually declined because we preferred to be home and in bed at our usual hour. Later when our children were teenagers and young adults I grew to hate New Years because I worried that my kids were going to make a bad decision at the party they were at or would be on the road late at night with all the real and imagined dangers I laid awake worrying about.

Now my kids are grown, two of them married, and one still at home. I worry less about them but always feel better waking up New Years Day knowing everyone is safe and we can now get past all this silliness of “New Years” and move on with life. Yes, I know – what a Scrooge I am!

This year was a little unique in that one of my kids was on vacation in Paris with his wife. So at 3:15 PM Pacific Time I text him and said “hey – I just realized it’s the new year in Paris. Happy new year”. Jonathan replied (in his usual dry humor), “Indeed. Happy New Year from the future…” My other son was on a plane with his wife flying home to Illinois after spending the holidays in Southern California with her family. Michael text me about 10:15 PM and said, “happy new year from the central time zone”. They had made it home from O’Hare just in time for midnight – their first new years eve as a married couple.

My daughter was home and in bed by 10:00. I knew she would have rather been somewhere else celebrating. But not much was happening and she stayed in for the night sharing dinner with us and hitting the sack early. I felt a little bad for her but inside I was happy that I could retire not having to worry about her getting home.

And then there is my Golden Kali for whom December 31 really is just another one the 364 and 1/4 days per year.

Except for the “boom-booms”. The boom-booms began at midnight and lasted for about 30 minutes.

As expected, they spooked Kali and made her uneasy. The firecrackers and other means of “ringing” in the new year make Kali very skittish. She experienced the same thing this past July 4th. After last night I know I’ll need to get something (hopefully something natural) that I can use to proactively help her stay calm during periods of foolish (see, what a Scrooge I am!) celebration and also during the occasional thunderstorm (which will occur more regularly later this year but more on that in a future post).

Kali and I began our day like most others: rising relatively early, breakfast for Kali, coffee and the sports section for me, and so on from there. I have to admit that as much as I dislike New Years Eve I have always really liked News Year Day. Part of the reason is that New Years Eve is over with and the other part is that during the morning much of the neighborhood and town is asleep from to much ringing, singing, and auld lang syne-ing the night before.

Like almost every other morning, Kali and I walked along our creek trail out to the pond and back along the fairways of hole number four and five of the recently closed golf course. It was just another morning except the world was just a little more quiet than usual because of the aforementioned sleeping singers, ringers, and syners.

So 2016 begins just as 2015 began and ended: by waking up next to my bride of 33 years whom I remain desperatly in love with, by thinking about my kids spread around the globe that I am so proud of, and with a dog by my side waiting patiently for me to get up so that we can get on with our routine and enjoy this, which is just another day.

Just another day at the pond…. (1/1/16)