Why is this Memorial Day Weekend Ten? Because ten years ago on this weekend in 2014 Kali joined started our pack.
Long time followers of The Golden Kali Blog know the story and history of how this special dog changed my life. How she flew from Taiwan with 23 other Golden Retrievers arriving at SFO via China Airlines flight 004 on Saturday evening, May 24th 2014. Those who don’t can read how it started here.
Kali crossed the Bridge on January 1, 2022. But this weekend will always be our special weekend. The weekend when both of our lives changed for the better and forever. For seven and half years Kali was never far from my side physically. Although gone physically Kali remains omnipresent in my life.
The tag lines over the years tell a lot. Initially it was “Kali’s New Life In America”. Then when we moved to the Sierra Nevada Foothills it became “Kali’s New Life In The Mountains“. When she crossed the bridge the tag line became, “Life Without Kali”. And more recently, “Life With The Red Girls“. But don’t let the last tag line fool you. This blog is and will always be about Kali. The influences she had not just on me but on the Red Girls – Kloe and Koda – to whom she was be best “sissy-mama” a puppy could have.
So after ten years – ten Memorial Days – what more can be said? Well, just that it will always be our day – Kali’s and mine. The day the rest of our lives together began.
Kali and I about a week after she arrived from Taiwan, stole my heart, and changed my life.
Being creatures of habit The Red Girls and I have many rituals and routines. Morning, mid-day, dinner time and bedtime. There are steps, dialogue and processes carried out in much the same way each time. One of those is bedtime preparation.
Bedtime preparation includes letting the girls outside to pee. There is more to this than just the action of peeing… Kloe is usually first out. As soon as she hears the door open she’s on her feet heading out for her nightly patrol of the property in order to”secure the perimeter”. Kloe is the protector of the Golden K and Koda, Holly, and I are lucky enough to be part of her pack. Some nights I have to go back out and look for her usually finding her perched high on the deck performing sentry duties. She’ll reluctantly follow me back in even though she’d prefer to stay on duty.
Koda usually needs some “encouragement” to go out. Typically she’s fast asleep with no interest in peeing or doing anything other than to stay where’s she’s at to slumber the night away. I call to her, “C’mon Koda, get busy!” Get busy is our term for “go pee”. “Come on, Koda. Time for bed. Get up. Go out and get busy”. Usually nothing changes. I try another tact, “Your sissy is outside patrolling. She may need some back up if she finds any intruders”. Koda asleep with thought bubble over her head: “Zzzzzz”. I walk to her and nudge her with my foot. She immediately rolls on her back in a prone position with all legs in the air. I stick my foot under her back; she pretends not to notice. Finally, she will pop up and comply. I’m not a fan of this part of the bedtime prep! And Koda is probably not either.
The girls eventually arrive back at one of the doors and ask to come in (unless I have to go get Kloe). They then retire to their mats set out next to our bed, or if hot, a cool spot on the laminate floor.
As they come in, and in an effort to discourage any lallygagging, I proclaim, “First come first serve. Sometimes just to mess with them I’ll say, “Last come last serve.” My humor is usually lost on them…
Cuddle Time
First come first serve refers to the first one on their mat gets to cuddle with me first. Cuddling usually involves me down on the floor next to them. I’ll pet them softly, hug them with my whole body, and whisper secrets and sweet nothing in their ears. Kloe, wide eyed, stares deeply into my eyes sometimes emitting small grunts to tell me she loves me too. Koda’s squirms a bit and tries to lick my face. In both cases both of them are usually content and glad to be left alone to go to sleep.
In her later years Kali would typically lay in the middle of the room, whether hot or cold, with plenty of space around her.
So now get ready for full disclosure….. Kali and I would spoon.
Me on the outside with her back pushed up against my chest. My arms and sometimes a leg would complete the spooning position and we’d lay there. I warned you – full disclosure! :). Sometimes we’d lay there quietly just breathing, usually in unison. Other times we talked softly to one another. Kali was a great listener! Occasionally I would fall asleep and wake up minutes later or longer, with a smile as I headed to my own bed.
Thinking of this the other day it hit me!
When I lay and cuddle with Kloe and Koda it’s for them. I’m protecting them, my babies. Of course I take great pleasure out of this 1:1 time, but my intentions are for them. To make them feel loved, safe, and protected. With Kali, our cuddle time was for me! Cuddling and spooning with Kali made me feel safe. It made me feel secure. My entire body would relax. If there was any stress in my day it would all seem to dissipate at once. Although I know Kali enjoyed our special time together I now realize that it was her giving to me. Not the other way around. What a gift! Who rescued who, right?
Even though Kali’s been gone for over a year and a half I continue to learn from her. I know our relationship before she crossed the bridge and now is not unique. But, my Golden Kali was about the most special gift one could ever hope for!
I’ve always taken for granted that I love all my girls desperately and without reservation. So I caught myself by surprise recently when I was looking at Koda and realized that I had fallen in love with her. Not at that moment, or even on that day. But over the months I had fallen head over heals in love with the youngest of my three girls.
That’s not to say that I don’t love my other girls with equal passion. I do. But I realize now that the dynamics of adding a third dog placed more demands on the pack than I had anticipated. Like children to some degree adding numbers to your family has an exponential effect. One dog is like having one dog. Two is like four and three is like nine. Or at least that’s how it feels at times. My love is bottomless so it’s not really a problem. They put more in my tank than take out…
Koda, now 21 months, joined our pack at four months old. From the moment I brought her home it was clear that she was going to be a force to be reckoned with a handful. She had tenacity both physically and vocally. In play with her big sister Kloe – who outweighed her by almost 60 pounds at the time – Koda never backed down even when Kloe tried to tell her enough was enough. When I told her I didn’t like something she was doing she would slink her body around puffing up her cheeks and letting out a stream of profanities vocalizations that sounds like “A rooo rooo rooo!” If I were to translate those sounds into words they would have to be written something like, “#@%&#*!!”.
Koda’s tenacity and determination was evident from day one. The Golden K sits on five acres and the girls have designated fenced areas for their safety. Koda quickly found that she could slip through the bars of a wrought iron gate that leads out of one of those fenced areas. In some ways it was endearing because the only reason she wanted to escape was to be me with who at the time was doing some work in another part of the property. I put chicken wire on the fence the next day to keep her from slipping through the bars. No problem for Koda – she scaled the fence, again in an effort to follow me to where I was going. There were several iterations of this as I experimented with various methods to keep her inside the safety zone. With each escape she would come trotting up to me smiling as if to say, “I found you. I’m here. I figured out how to scale the fence”, or “I missed you and I was able to slip under the bottom of the railing” and so on.
Koda was destructive at times chewing on furniture and finding her way to clothes, shoes, and other personal items. Some of that’s on me of course but still Koda seemed to set new household records for finding her way to trouble. The drip lines in the garden? No matter how deep I buried them Koda found them. Sprinkler heads? No problem. Apparently she knows how to twist them off the risers and with her jaw. Last summer was dry and brown in the garden to say the least!
Koda Koda Koda! The typical third child who believes the rules don’t apply to them. But over the months this tenacious pup has fallen into line (mostly). Through maturity and a lot of time and training on our part Koda has tempered her “enthusiasm” and is learning to respect the pack. She and I recently completed intermediate obedience training with our local AKC group. I was so happy and proud to see how eager she has become to learn and please me as her handler and as her dad.
Throughout much of last year Kloe was injured or recovering from her bi-lateral TPLO surgery. During much of that time Koda was challenging the status quo and finding new ways to test our patience. Much of our energy went into “managing” Koda and nursing Kloe back to health. Plus Kali is getting on in years (almost 11) and sometimes needs special attention and help. Distraction was definitely a theme for 2019!
I now realize that throughout these past and sometimes tumultuous 17 months I was falling in love with Koda. Maybe it was the aforementioned distractions. Maybe I simply took it for granted. Certainly I didn’t expect this deepening of love to be a journey. I don’t believe Koda will ever lose the tenacity she displayed from the moment she arrived home. Nor do I want her to. I believe it will serve her well over the years even if at times it is a challenge for me. In many ways it has helped me to be a better pup-parent.
As it turns out falling in love doesn’t happen over night. It really is a journey and I’m blessed to have Koda as my guide.
How embarrassing! I thought Kloe’s Gotcha Day was on May 9th but it is actually on May 7th – today. Thank goodness for Facebook who reminded me this morning by showing me my post from last year. As if Kloe would know or even knows what the heck a Gotcha Day is. But I know what it is and I’l always remember the day we brought her home from Lodi, CA where we picked her up.
She rode home to Livermore on Holly’s lap squirming a little bit but only because she wanted to play and cuddle. We arrived home to introduce her to Kali, her new big sissy and soon to be surrogate mother. Kali, true to herself, barked when Kloe entered the house as if to say, “No! I’ve been very happy here having mom and dad to myself for the past two years and I don’t need the competition of a incredibly cute puppy. So you, missy can just go back where you came from.”
Within an hour Kloe won over Kali’s heart and they were playing and cuddling. Kloe wanted to be wherever Kali was. At times coaxing Kali to play tug-o-war and Kali was so respectful and cognizant that Kloe was a wee 15 pounds so taking it easy on her. At other times when Kali was sleeping Kloe would lay on top of Kali or find a way to spoon. Kali was so tolerant and such good big sissy.
Two weeks later we packed up 23 years of Livermore, put Kali and Kloe in the back seat of my truck and drove to our new home in the Sierra Nevada Foothills. Kloe wasn’t in Suburbia long enough to get used to that so our five acres in the middle of the foothills was just another step in her brief two month life.
Fast forward two years and Kloe is a true mountain girl chasing squirrels and jack rabbits, co-existing with the black tailed deer and – being the chewer she is – loving the lifetime supply of twigs and sticks that are at her disposal.
That little 15 pound pup we brought home two years ago has grown up into a beautiful 80 pound young lady who brings endless and ongoing love and joy into our lives.
Happy Gotcha Day Kloe. You are my sweetie girl. You are a great companion, You are a fantastic listener. You are unconditional love in it’s truest form. For that and for you I am so grateful.
Kloe was infatuated with Smokey from the first day she met him. Smokey on the other hand was nonchalant and only mildly interested with Kloe who, even as a very young pup, was much larger than Smokey. Smokey played it cool and if Kloe became a nuisance he let her know with a growl and snap from his tiny snout. Kloe would acquiesce to Smoky’s body language and back off but only by inches, still so very interested in this smaller yet more mature and dominant being staring intently and seemingly willingly him to “play”.
Smokey is my daughters pup, an 11 pound half Maltese Terrier half Yorkshire Terrier – a Morkie! When Kloe first met “the Smokster” as a young pup, she was not much bigger than him. Now at 80 pounds Kloe is almost eight times Smokey’s size both in weight and stature yet the infatuation continues.
My daughter and Smokey paid a visit to The Golden K recently. Kloe of course was all about Smokey. It was nice to see that more often than not, maybe because Kloe is maturing and slightly calmer, Smokey seems to enjoy hanging with his step sister that I call Kloe Bowie Sugerlips.
I think it started out as tolerance: “Dad says I have to be nice to this puppy.” It evolved to tolerance: “I guess she’s not so bad and is nice to have a a pal at nap time.” But over time, make no mistake, it turned into love. A love that as an upright I may never fully understand but in my heart I know it is a love as strong as I have for my closest family members.
18 months ago Kloe was nine weeks old when we brought her home. From that first day Kali consistently obliged and acquiesced to this little 15 pound whippersnapper as though it was one of her own pups and not just a step sister. Kloe regularly sought out Kali and found a spot next to Kali that was comfortable for herself even if it was not comfortable for her big sister.
Kloe: I want to be where you are big sis! Kali: Zzzz…
Puppy MMA Take Down
So it’s warming and gratifying to me that although her “little” sister Kloe is now 80 pounds and outweighs Kali by 20 pounds nothing has changed.
So tolerance, indifference, or love? I know it’s love.
Kloe: Hey Kali, c’mon, wake up and wrestle with me! Kali: Zzzzz
She’ been conditioned and I guess it’s my fault. When Kali hears the sound of a knife on a chopping board she comes running from into the kitchen and alternates glances between me and chopping board. She knows there’s a pretty good chance she’ll get a sample of what is being chopped especially if it’s a vegetable or an apple. If I’m chopping up left over cold chicken for a salad or sandwich she will usually get a little sliver of that. OK fine, I admit it. Usually whatever is on the chopping board she will get a little piece so long as it’s not unhealthy. Since I don’t eat too many unhealthy foods I guess this means she just about always get’s a little “sumpin’ sumpin” from the chopping board when I’m chopping.
Chopping boards make a distinctive sound especially when someone like me is a “hack chef” doesn’t know how to cook. I always thought it would be cool to be like those chefs on the cooking shows where they can dice up a five pound zucchini while making hardly any sound faster than you can say Magic Bullet. Not me. CHOP! KER-CHOP… CHOPPITY CHOP!
Kali sees well but not as well as she used to. She rarely catches a tossed biscuit or treat in mid air any longer. She’s getting on in years (8 now) and her eyes have begun to get a cloudy look to them. Hopefully it won’t be an issue as she continues to age.
Her hearing though is still very keen especially when it is the sound of the chopping board.
There could be sirens sounding overhead, howling wind, and explosions all around and Kali would still be able to distinguish the sound of the chopping board that she loves so much.
Recently Kali was outside on the deck and I was in the kitchen, chopping. CHOP! KER-CHOP… CHOPPITY CHOP! It must have been driving Kali nuts because although she could hear the sound of chopping she couldn’t see first hand what was going on. Another aging part of Kali’s anatomy are her hips. She is not a very good jumper and it would put her in pain if she was propped up on just her hind legs for more than a second or two.
But that sound of the chopping board sure motivated her to jump up and get a look through the kitchen door to see what was on the chopping block as evidenced by this brief video of her trying desperately to see what was being chopped while also trying to get my attention.
Meals for Kali and Kloe was the first thing that came to Holly’s mind. She went to the cupboard where the dog food is stored and began dishing out meal sized portions into plastic resealable bags. She put them all into a large paper bag and set it by the door. This is where Holly’s mind was when, yesterday for a few hours, we thought we might have to evacuate our property due to a wildfire in our area.
As it turned out we were never at risk but there were a few hours where we weren’t sure. So we went into action.
Car keys? Check. Wallets? Check? Dog food? Check. OK – we’re good to go. “Wait. How about clothes” I said. Holly answered: “Don’t be silly Michael – the dogs don”t have clothes. Me: “They have tooth brushes, why not clothes?” Holly: “You’re right, with all the food I packed for them we’ll need to stay up on their brushings. I’ll pack their tooth brushes.”
OK, maybe that wasn’t the exact dialogue but it could have been.
In times of crises or emergency everyone reacts differently. Panic, fear, and indecision. Jump into action, organize, and take charge. And in our case I guess our reaction was “take care of the girls”.
My mind went to thoughts about how the night would go if we had to bug out. We’d jump into the car with Kali and Kloe and the plethora of pre-packed food bags. We’d drive as directed by the fire crew into safety. But what if nearby friends also had to evacuate. Where would we spend the night? Could we find a motel in the area that allowed dogs? Would we just sleep in the car cuddled up in the back with the girls? I remembered that the fairgrounds had been a shelter for people evacuated during another recent fire. They were accepting livestock and pets in addition to people. I thought they probably wouldn’t allow the dogs to sleep where the people slept. They would probably have them sequestered outside in a giant pen or crates. I thought if that was the case then I would ask to sleep with the animals because my girls would be scared without us in a strange place with other unknown animals.
Yep, that’s where my mind went. Take care of the girls and the rest will take care of itself.
So, thank goodness, it was a non-event and after a non-eventful evening we headed off to bed. I thought back about how we could have been sleeping at the fairgrounds. Holly on a cot with the humans and me sharing a crate with Kali and Kloe amongst the livestock and pets. It made me feel good to know that I would do that if necessary (I would) and I felt the girls somehow knew too.
We got into bed and I waited for the girls to settle in on their mattresses by the sides of our bed feeling grateful to be safe and at home. Then my bubble was burst as Kloe went back into the kitchen to sleep on the cool tile and Kali went into the bathroom to sleep on the tile there. So much for gratitude. But in the end I guess they were grateful. Grateful for the cool tile after a triple digit summer day and oblivious to what could have been under less fortunate circumstances.
That’s was fine with me. Sleep tight girls.
SIMULATION: Me and the girls sleeping at the fairgrounds with the rest of the livestock and pets.
Many canine breeds are good with children and Golden Retreivers are one of the best. The American Kennel Club places Goldens fourth after the Bulldog (1), Beagle (2), and the Newfoundland (3). Labs at number 5 were right after Golden Retrievers.
When Kloe first joined our pack it took her a few days but she eventually engaged Kali in play. All of 15 pounds when she came home Kloe would run full speed at Kali nipping at her ears and bouncing off Kali’s torso, hips and head. It was warming to see Kali, at 60 pounds, play so gently with Kloe instinctively knowing that Kloe was obviously smaller but also a “baby”. During tug-o-war Kali could have shaken the rope toy hard enough to launch Kloe into the air but she didn’t. She would hold on lightly and allow Kloe to gain some ground. Kloe would eventually tire, lie down on her belly, and Kali would drag her along the carpet or kitchen tile for a ride.
A little over a year later its fun to watch Kloe, now at 80 pounds, approach her big sister much in the same way she did when she was just a bitty pup.
Kloe still blind sides Kali at full speed, often with a toy in her mouth, daring Kali to fight back as if Kali has a choice. The difference now is that Kloe has a 20 pound advantage over Kali who has to go full strength as a matter of self preservation. And some games never change. Often after several minutes of tug-o-war Kloe will lie flat on her stomach, front and back legs fully extended, and Kali drags her along the carpet and Kitchen tile.
Until recently Kloe had not been around any young pups and I wondered how she would act if she was. At only fifteen months does she possess the same instincts that seven year old Kali demonstrated with her baby sister a year ago? Kloe has always had just one speed during play: 11 of on a scale of 10. Through training and to some degree maturity (did I just use the word maturity in a sentence with Kloe?!?) Kloe is calmer around people when she first meets them. It’s hard for her but she is learning what’s expected and keeps all her feet on the ground while wagging her butt feverishly. Usually there is a thought bubble over her head that says, “Hi! I love you! Do you see me? I am really really glad you are here! Do you see me? Did I tell you I love you?”
The young pup that Kloe met recently was not of the canine persuasion. It was a human pup baby. Perri is the granddaughter of our friends Marty and Jen. We were at Marty and Jen’s for a BBQ when Perri was introduced to Kloe. Kloe was very interested and saw that this was a person who just happened to be very small and very young. In fact Kloe and Perri are just about the same age. Kloe probably instinctively knew she had an advantage in most major categories:
Age – tie
Agility – Kloe major advantage
Intelligence – Kloe slight advantage
Weight – Kloe Super major advantage
Cute factor – Tie with the smallest of tie breakers going to Kloe (full disclosure: Perri’s parents and Grandparents were not consulted for the rating of this category)
Kloe laid at grandpa Marty’s feet while he held Perri in his lap. She was fascinated and so very calm as she watched Perri’s every move. I believe that with any dog, and I mean any dog, one must be very cautious with babies and they should not be allowed on the ground with the dog nearby until both parties – dog owner and parent/grandparent – are sure it’s safe.
So was the case with Kloe and Perri. Perri was eventually allowed to sit on the ground near Kloe. Our 80 pound bundle of energy 11 on scale of 10 “puppy” laid there calmly next to Perri and just hung out with “the baby” and let her do her thing.
But just for good measure, and so Perri knew that she loved her, Kloe gave Perri a little kiss on her nose, captured in the video below.
Golden Kali 