Let it fly in the breeze and get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas, in my hair
A home for fleas, a hive for the buzzing bees
A nest for birds, there ain’t no words
For the beauty, splendor, the wonder of my hair
– From Hair: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical
The verse above from the 1967 Rock Musical “Hair” could have been written about Kali or any other Golden Retriever for that matter. Kali’s hair is everywhere but that’s to be expected and accepted if you own a Golden. There is no shortage of hair flying around the house, in the air, in the carpet, and in the corner and edges of the tiled rooms. Especially this time of year when Kali’s body decides that two coats are a little much for the hot summer weather that will arrive soon.
I think Kali is a lot prettier when she has her full complement of two fluffy coats. But, as I did last summer, I will probably take a lot of her undercoat off again this year with the undercoat rake. It’s remarkable how much hair is under there. With only a few passes along her back and thighs I can take off a Smokey size bundle of hair. I’ve joked about this but wouldn’t it be cool to find someone who could spin Kali’s hair into yarn and make a sweater for someone, or a blanket, or maybe one of those silly toilet paper covers that were popular in the sixties. If you’re old enough to remember those covers congratulations. If you still have one in your bathroom please get rid of it immediately or risk arrest by the generation police.
It’s amazing how much hair is in the carpet. We have an upright Eureka vacuum cleaner with a an easily accessible canister of about two quarts in volume. With a pass through a few rooms the canister is full of Kali’s hair. Should we be happy that we have such an effective vacuum cleaner or ashamed that we’ve allowed so much hair to accumulate over the past few days?
And then there’s the stairs. The stairs are a little more challenging when it comes to vacuuming. But wait (as they used to say in the infomercials for Ginsu Knives) there’s more! Our upright vacuum comes with the “Power Paw”. This hand-held attachment is quite effective at picking up dog hair from the stairs. It has a rubber gasket along the underside to loosen the hair and a spinning rake to grab the hair and suck it into the two-quart canister. And Eureka is all about pet safety. I’m sure of this because the attachment comes with a warning: “Caution. Not to be used on pets”. Thank goodness for stopping me before I did something stupid like vacuuming Kali, or worse Smokey who could probably fit through the hose and go directly into the canister. Tragedy avoided. Now where did that hair dryer go? I’m off to take a bath and want to use the hair dryer while I’m sitting in the tub…
By the way if you are old enough to remember the Ginsu Knives infomercials you’re almost as old as those readers now running to the bathroom to hide that silly toilet paper cover that their grandmother knitted for them in 1965. But, if you were lucky enough to have purchased a set of those knives – congratulations – you’re one of about 3 million people who purchased them between 1978 and 1984 (according to Wikipedia who of course is never wrong so why shouldn’t your doctoral thesis on global warming be based on data found within those millions of wiki-pages?).
So yeah, hair. “Hair of the dog that bit you”, “lost by a hair”, “what a hairy ordeal”. Or how about, “there was hair flying everywhere?” Boom – that’s the one. Kali’s hair is flying everywhere.
But far be it from us to cook up a harebrained scheme (sorry) to do something about it. Because, after all it’s Kali hair flying around like thousands of little blessings landing on and around us all day long.